Adil Najam
It is not often that one dares to place a headline as bold as the one above. We have used such superlatives a few times before, but very few: for the dialogues from Maula Jatt, for the blockbuster movie Aina, twice for the PTV show Fifty-Fifty, once for the show and once for its skits (both times with question marks), and once for the miracle cricket match in Sharjah and Miandad’s fabulous sixer to clinch the game on the last ball. Today, we use it again.
This is certainly not the best work of Khalid Abbas Dar – for my money, the most brilliant stand-up comic Pakistan has ever produced (I was never a fan of his stage dramas, but his solo routines, especially the old PTV ones were a superb – but it may well be the funniest hockey commentary ever, anywhere. Khalid sahib’s all-time greatest performance is the “classical” singing he does with made up words – it is side-splitting funny – originally recorded during the 1971 election transmission and recorded multiple times later.
But this performance, from the 1987 PTV Awards show is as hilarious (especially for those who know the context) and probably familiar to more people. I remember being in the audience that day and for many weeks after that this skit was the talk of the country. Especially that last 10 seconds antic from Khalid Abbas Dar, which is a true depiction of his comic genius.
I should confess that this post is triggered directly by the recent post by Syed Ahsan Ali on Pakistan hockey’s chances in the forthcoming Olympics. That set me thinking about the late 1980s, when Pakistan began its slide from the peak of its hockey prowess. I searched for video clips of games from that era and found this instead. I am so glad that I did.
The skit mentions the two pivotal points in Pakistan’s slide downwards. The loss to Korea in the 1986 Asian Games, followed immediately afterwards by ending 11th (out of 12th) in the 1986 London World Cup. I hope that was not the beginning of the ‘end’, but it was certainly the beginning of the slide downwards. Remembe, this was the time when we still believed that the slide was temporary. To be fair, Pakistan did regain the hockey World Cup title in Sydney in 1994, and we are still the country that has won it the most times (four; Holland is catching up with three World Cup titles). But the best seems to be behind us… so very far behind us.
To get a flavor of just how different the times were for Pakistan hockey. Note at the camera getting fixed on Samiullah and (is that?) Hassan Sardar. Both are, literally, squirming in embarrassment at the performance of the Pakistani team. Remember, what had happened was not the norm as it is now!
Anyhow, that was then. This is now. Then, to have come home without any medal was a huge surprise. Today, to come home with any medal would be the surprise. Hockey, like all sports, goes up and down. As it should. But good humur is timeless. Even when it is based on current events as this one is. Enjoy!
Extremely funny. Thanks for posting this. Excellent writing and excellently executed. Humor at its best really. That last few seconds of Khalid Abbas Dar coming back are priceless.
Also, so many memories of other stars sitting in the audience. Marina Khan. Mohammad Ali. Allan.
Thank you for this.
You find this funny? This is quite embarrassing and disappointing to make fun of national heroes after few failures. I remember listening to commentary on radio for 1986 world cup and I know we did not perform well but I would not hit below the belt for that. After all we all are humans and we do perform well below avg. at some time during our lives.
I feel sorry for Samiullah and Hasan Sardar(two of the greatest hockey players for ALL time) had to undergo such embarrassment in front of thousands of people on national TV and one can certainly feel the pains in their eyes.
Simply brilliant! I remember my family being glued to tv watching this show, even though I didn’t see it till next morning when it was rerun which again was ODD for ptv. Shoaib Mansoor produced it and people still talk about the show. Dar’s pitch eeftikhaaar is almost perfect. Iftikhar’s pathetic show was magnified due to the fact that he was replacing perhaps the greatest stricker (center forward) there ever was in Hasan Sardar. Too bad that in my memory I have only a handful games of his. People who knew him say that he rarely practiced with the team and just played the matches. In my opinion he was as big a talent as Maradona.
Eidee Man, thanks for the link from someone who doesn’t get to watch these shows anymore. Aitazaz showed his class as a top class lawyer.
Hillarious. Specially how it ends.
I do not remember this era because I was very young and had not seen Khalid Dar before. He has great timing and presence. Wish the picture quality was better, though.
Excellent humour.
Thank you for posting that video. I have been searching for it since a long time. I remember that we had it recorded on tape when I was little.
Wonderful memories.
Not relevant, but:
http://www.charlierose.com/shows/2008/06/30/1/a-discussion-about-pakistan
Aitzaz Ahsan’s interview by Charlie Rose.
I remeber seeing this program live. You are right, one has to know the right context, and then the skipt becomes very funny. Losing to Korea was unheard of until Asian Games of 1986 therefore it was an embarrassing moment for our hockey team and hence this skit.
I also vividly remember Iftikhar’s misses in World Cup. He missed quited a few open chances of goals and hence Khalid Abbas Dar’s skit ‘abay O Iftikhar..’
The thing that has always appeared funny to me is Khalid Abbas Dar’s special accent of ‘androon Lahore shehr’. It is very unique style of talking where among other things an ‘r’ sound is pronounced as a hard ‘R’.
Well, not much can be done in the short term – maybe Pakistan Hockey can target Chicago (Insha-allah) in 2016!