If you are married, how closely did you read the Nikah Nama before signing it?
Some time last summer my fiance decided that time had come for us to tie the knot. I was excited. So excited that I hastily agreed to do the Nikah (Katb-e-Kitaab, as levant Arabs call it) within the next few weeks. I called my trusted friend, Adil, for his advice on where to find a good scholar/Imam for the Nikah, esp someone who might be familiar with Arabic language because my wife happens to be a Palestinian. He, as always, had an excellent recommendation.
During this process is when I actually read a Nikah Nama for the first time in my life and realized that it was missing some of the key provisions that my fiance and I had discussed earlier and wanted to be included. For example, we realized that there was no provision in the agreement for a woman’s right to ask for divorce. Secondly, there was no detailed discussions of the different types of Haq Mehr, except for the very minimum required at the time of marriage. Finally, there was no discussion on how our assets would get divided in the case of a divorce, or separation.
I discussed these terms, and our mutual agreement on them, with my parents. Let me tell you it was an uncomfortable discussion. Initially, they seemed horrified that my fiance and I were discussing divorce issues even before marriage! Then their reaction turned to fear - that their son was signing his life and his possessions away without proper legal counsel. But somehow they budged. Next came the discussions with the Imam. That also took some serious convincing but he was a learned man with patience. He eventually agreed to add those terms which essentially protected my wife’s rights, though warned us that despite our Nikah agreement some of those provisions would not hold in many Muslim states, such as Saudi Arabia.
So why am I reminded of this now? No, not because it has been a year already and I am regretting all that I signed away :). But because I read in the Daily Times that the problems with Nikah Nama are confronting Pakistani couples regularly as they enter unto wedlock. The problem, of course, has greater ramifications for the bride than the groom, but in either case, this is a serious religious and legal issue. Here’s what is reported:
A large number of nikkah namas (forms declaring a man and woman husband and wife) prepared in Karachi at least if not the rest of the country are incomplete because seven out of 28 paragraphs are excluded, Daily Times has learnt.
The omitted paragraphs run from Nos. 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 and 28 and pertain to the woman’s rights in a marriage.
Paragraph No. 16 deals with Haq Mehr, or the amount of money that a husband is required, by the Shariah and Pakistani law, to pay his wife if their marriage ends. Any other property given instead by the woman or man must be declared on the forms.
Paragraph No. 17 says that any special terms and conditions that the woman or the man puts forward should be mentioned independently. Paragraph No. 18 details the basis on which the man has allowed his wife to demand a divorce from him. These sections are, however, usually crossed out by clerics or nikkah khwans, which means that in these cases the woman is not given her right to demand divorce or to declare it herself.
Nearly 25% of the Nikah Nama is missing. This is unbelievable! Clearly such changes are not officially sanctioned by the state but there are severe problems implementing the state’s writ. Marriage registrars have considerable freedom, it seems, when it comes to this business:
The authorities have taken a stab at tackling this problem but it appears not to be high priority. The city government has formed Maslihati Anjuman and Insaaf Committees at the Union Council and town levels. It is said in Paragraph No. 21 that if a man is already married then he needs a certificate from the Maslihati Anjuman but the city government keeps manual records instead of computerised ones which makes the process of checking next to impossible.
Assuming that this is being done intentionally by selected Khateebs, I consider it a criminal act on their part. The official Nikah Nama is being modified by the Imams/Moulvis/Khateebs/Registrars without the permission of the marrying couple, and important provisions that protect the wife are selectively being removed without informing the couple. Add to this the fact that quite often these Nikah Namas are not read in that much detail, and in the absence of full information, brides usually don’t even know what might be missing. One does not have to search hard to find cases where at least one member of a family has suffered because they were not told about, and not given their full due rights in marriage.
While clearly something must be done about this selective changes in the Nikah Nama, we also need education in the society regarding the meaning of a Nikah, the rights and privileges accorded in such and agreement, and how the laws of Pakistani are technically setup to protect those provisions. In the meantime, do check what your own Nikah Nama says…
I am afraid, i was thinking that rights of a wife are somewhat which are defined as fundamental rules in ISLAM…Are not they already defined since Prophet hood i.e in holy Book from GOD or Saying of prophet? One of my friend told me that this is decided on time of Nikkah that if saperation occurs than who will be geting what. If its true, why there is confusion?
dear All i am Ali from Pakistan leveing in Dubai need nikah nama form becuse my wife is visiting me and we need nikah nama requesting to u all if some body send me Nikah nama Form i will be very thanks.
hope any of one help me in this matter.
Zamonov said:
“…. In fact, I believe there should be mandatory marriage counseling (which explains the rights to both parties) prior to a nikah getting registered with the government.”
From my understanding of the law regarding application to enter into polygamous marriage, if the man does not apply and receive permission from the Union Council, then none of those subsequent marriages can legally be registered with the government. =)
Adonis says:
“Nullifying a second marriage conucted without the approval of first wife is an interetsing argument that can have some potentially very serious problems.”
Adonis, I was not talking about requiring the permission of the first wife though that sounds like a Great Idea…lol….I was referring to ways in which to ensure that all involved in subsequent marriages to make sure that everything was done right legally in regard to seeking permission of the Union before subsequent marriages take place. Indeed if they knew that the marriage would not be valid, you can bet they would make sure they did everything right so that it would be valid. Therefore…what Children would there be before the marriage took place??? That would be an entirely different issue.
However, even though subsequent marriages without permission of the Union can not legally be registered in Pakistan…that hasn’t stopped people from doing it anyway. Again, Pakistan needs to start enforcing its laws or else what is the point of having them? Because the law is not enforced by people or the government, the strength of the law regarding application and permission from the Union is merely a formality that is not doing anyone any good.
Cherese:
You asked a lot of questions and I am no expert but will do my best with what I know.
The nikah is not the marriage ceremony…it is the marriage contract. The contract can be written or verbal…both are recognized Islamically…but of course it is always best to have it in writing.
If you are married Islamically in a Muslim country than yes that alone will be valid in the USA. In the USA you have to marry civilly…(apply to the state and have the marriage performed by someone qualified and recognized as being such by the state.” You can apply for a marriage license and be married Islamically and Civilly by an Imaam. I believe the term civilly implies/means that you had to register with the state to get married.?
I’m certain that a Nikkah arrangement could/would be taken into consideration in part or whole if there was a divorce in the USA or Egypt. As for traveling to Egypt and divorcing there…I think it might not be as easy as you think. For one you are not a citizen of Egypt, secondly for a woman to divorce her husband is not the easiest thing to do. It is much easier if he divorces you.
Thirdly, no muslim enters into marriage with the idea of divorcing and I pray that you will make every sincere effort NOT to divorce. For you to truly understand this you must be a muslim and I would therefore strongly encourage you to learn all you can about Islam. If you choose to revert to Islam, do so not for your husband else you won’t be a true revert or muslim but do it for yourself because you believe it to be the one and only true religion. Islam is a way of life, it is not just a religion.
There is a popular woman’s only group on MSN Groups called “Wives of Pakistanis.” They have extensive Islamic information & resources and the group is quite active. It is Islamic based and the majority are Muslim and are married/engaged to Pakistani men, not Egyptian. While they might not be able to help you culturally, they should be able to help you one on one Islamically. Perhaps you can find more detailed information you seek there. I believe you have to apply to join the group. http://groups.msn.com/WivesofPakistanis
Good Luck.
Hi, I am just stopping by this forum as I am doing some research on Nikkah… I have to say this posting was very interesting and enlightening for me.
I am a US citizen non-Muslim marrying and Egyptian citizen who is Muslim. We are planning to be married here in the US; we will be doing a somewhat traditional US wedding ceremony. My fiance wants to have an Islamic ceremony as well, which I believe is a good thing to do to preserve/follow his beliefs upon entering our marriage. One of the questions I have is whether the Nikkah completely constitutes marriage in Islam? As far as my understanding (and I am assuming this is a generalization) there is not a separate religious and civil ceremony as we traditionally have here in the US.
If the nikkah constitutes the marriage itself how would this be viewed by the US law? Would it be applied upon divorce in the US or ignored?
If the nikkah does not constitute the marriage itself as one poster noted: “The religous requirements do not stipulate a signed form for solemnizing the marriage (although written contracts are recommended for every transaction in the Quran) as long as there are witnesses to the affirmation from both sides.” is signing the Nikkah still the best thing to do?
In my thinking the nikkah could act as a means to protect my rights for a future situation for example if we decided to travel or relocate to a Middle Eastern/Islamic country; in the case of divorce there, say in Egypt, I am assuming the Nikkah would preserve my rights? Is this a realistic view of the Nikkah?
And finally, would the Nikkah actually preserve rights for me being that I am a non-Muslim woman married to a Muslim man?
These may seem like simple questions that anyone planning to marry a Muslim man should know, however I am still in the educational part of this process so please bear with me.
If you have any suggestions of where I can learn more about this topic please do advise me. We have plans to meet with someone at the mosque to discuss this, but I would like to have pre-knowledge before I go to this meeting. Someone else also suggested that I meet with a lawyer but I don’t know if this is necessary or if there is anyone in my area that would specialize in this type of information… Again thank you for taking the time to read/reply to my posting. Enjoy your day!