While the ‘easy-white-woman’ stereotype is being reinforced, how can Pakistan become a tourist destination?
Conversing with Charlotte is always a pleasure. She’s original and witty; each encounter with her is memorable – regrettably, the last one for all the wrong reasons. She told me some stories about her visits to Pakistan that left me uneasy, even embarrassed. Charlotte, or CV as I call her, is an international development worker who remains committed to her work in the much-maligned world of development assistance. She has worked through the horrors of east African genocides and actually does something about the poverty and discrimination that we all love to talk about but often ignore.
Our last meeting took place in a nice restaurant with live music and great food. We chatted amiably till conversation drifted towards the attraction native men feel towards white women. Charlotte had many stories to reveal and agreed that several white tourists hunt for sexual gratification across the globe. But what did CV reveal that shamed me so much?
On her visit to Pakistan some years ago, while catching a domestic flight, she was searched at one of our international airports. The female police official took her inside the booth and insisted on searching in ways more than necessary.
“Are you looking for work? I can get it all fixed up” said the dutiful constable.
“Are you looking for work? I can get it all fixed up” said the dutiful constable. Clueless, CV thanked her and said that she was already employed and was in Pakistan for official work. “No, I mean I can get you a very good rate” said the official. “I know a lot of businessmen and politicians who would remunerate you appropriately for your services.”
Charlotte got the point and became a little upset. Rebuking the official, she came out of the cubicle and called for the lady’s supervisor. This gent was unmoved by Charlotte’s complaint and did not think that the policewoman had committed any error. Getting more furious, Charlotte went to see the supervisor’s supervisor. After the long process of searching him out, she finally found him and complained about her experience.
“What is so offensive in all of this?” was this official’s response. “Are you shy of dealing with low-level staff? After all, I work with them too. We help a lot of visitors in this way. And in any case, why are you making this into such a big deal?”
Hurrying to catch her flight, CV did not have the patience to follow the matter up further. She overlooked this incident, accomplished her work and felt that bygones were bygones.
However, on her next visit a few months later, CV boarded another domestic flight and the story gets grimmer. Once on board, the flight captain approached her with these words:
“You are too attractive not to be noticed. I noticed you when you were walking towards the plane and I immediately figured that you would be good. It’s the way you walk, my dear.”
Charlotte mentally reviewed her clothing and demeanour for any signs of giving the impression that she was on the lookout. She saw only her standard work clothes, modest per the guidelines of travelling in Pakistan and crumpled after an 18-hour day. Having consoled herself with the thought that none of this was her fault, she told the captain off and threatened to lodge a formal complaint. Her words made no difference at all: the macho man remained totally unmoved and left her with his visiting card.
If this were not enough, when she arrived at her destination and approached the hotel telephone operator requesting a wake-up call, he informed CV that the orange shalwar kameez was looking great on her and many people were wanting to get to know her. At that point, CV told me, she decided never to return to the land of the Indus again.
This impetuous vow did not last long in the face of her commitment to the work she was undertaking on behalf of her organisation. Her work, dealing with important rights and development projects, brought her back and this time, she had to be in the province that is much sinned against.
This time, CV’s stalker turned out to be none other than a high and mighty official of the province. Please note that this was not a traditional sort of politician, the kind vilified by Christina Lamb or Emma Duncan, but a rather suave gent. His personal staff kept sending CV gifts and insisting on a personal tete-a-tete with the provincial deity. And poor CV had to be curt and impolite to ward off this demon.
What did she do later? Nothing except complain to her organisation who asked whether she wanted to be moved away from Pakistan-related work. CV’s response was in the negative since her professional commitment came before her personal woes, but she is wiser for all these experiences. She remains on her guard all the time, dresses in local clothes only and avoids travelling alone.
Hearing this story, dear readers, you can imagine how I felt. I was unable to say much and was a wee bit embarrassed. With human trafficking cartels bringing Central Asian sex workers to Pakistan and embedding this phenomenon in the urban centres, the ‘easy-white-woman’ stereotype is being reinforced. In the face of this reality, how can Pakistan become a tourist destination? The rich heritage and natural beauty can do no good if a visitor is being threatened and insulted at the same time.
There is an Indian tourism advertisement that shows a taxi driver grabbing a young tourist by the arm and pulling her towards his taxi. He is stopped and rebuked by a young Indian who tells the taxi driver to mend his ways, reminding him that guests are sacred. A lesson indeed from our much-maligned neighbour!
NOTE: A version of this post appeared earlier in Friday Times
Akif has correctly pointed out the reasons for this behaviour ie., to quote him, “we live in an isolationist society where most people never come in contact with a foreigner, let alone a white woman”.
I will take this argument a little further by saying that a majority of men in Pakistan are, in general, intimidated by women. this could be due to limited exposure & interaction with women ie., their upbringing that in later stages in life leaves them to stereotype everything.
throw in good looks, intelligence and above-average intellect on the woman’s part & you would see the Man crumble internally which manifests in the cases such a shared by charlotte, not to mention a far more widespread phenomenon of crimes against women including spouse-abuse
CV has given us a poignant reminder that remedy rests in bringing up boys to have respect for women at home; a young biy sees “men-folk” show respect so that this is soft-coded in the DNA while growing up
@Raza, agree with you on this not being about religion, intact come to think of it, my initial observation about “apparently religious people” was not so much in accurate as irrelevant.
Its about values. Religion if anything certainly adds and not subtracts.
Charlotte, thanks for the re-affirmation and optimism!
Hi Everyone, Raza Rumi shared all your comments with me. I’m the Charlotte from his story. I find this exchange very interesting. For the record, I have also been lucky to meet plenty Pakistani men and women who were very welcoming to your country. Some became close friends indeed. And when I traveled through Balochistan last year for work, I was treated with a lot of respect (most of the time). That said, there is a lot that needs to be done to make people (men and women alike) in Pakistan somehow more aware of the fact that not every blond woman stepped out of playboy magazine. But, it does not only concern Western women. Many Pakistani women have told me stories about being humiliated by their “brothers”. So, please treat your sisters well, after all, every change starts with little steps.
I agree with Raza Rumi,
And for those interested in this issue I kindly suggest they continue their research at this website.
http://www.savethemales.ca/180902.html
Kindest and Bestest Regards
This is a great discussion – serious, constructive and irreverent sometimes..
I am glad that there are so many friends here who also think that this is an issue that needs to be sorted out.
I saw comments on religion etc. but I think this has nothing to do with religion – it is a problem related to culture, social structures, hypocritical view of sexuality and of course sexual frustration ( let’s face it).
thanks to all the readers again!