If, like myself, you are parents of children growing up ‘abroad,’ then we probably share a common angst if our children do not or cannot speak our native language.
Having grown up outside of Pakistan my entire life, save numerous long summers during early schooling years and then later, almost bi-annual winters during college and thereafter, I am able to converse and understand spoken Urdu. It is thanks to my parents, who spoke Urdu throughout my young formative years, and our visits to the motherland, that I am able today, to appreciate more of my rich culture because I have the ability to communicate and comprehend Urdu. My wish and hope is that my children too, are able to have this wonderful gift and opportunity. In the world we now live in, especially for our American/foreign born children, the need for them to have a strong sense of belonging and a positive self-identity in the western societies they live in, is paramount in my opinion.
As a parent of two young children, my husband & I constantly struggle with the fact that our children are not speaking Urdu. We think they understand the language in some minimal capacity, but not nearly enough to elicit proper comprehension or more far flung verbal communication. We – or rather I – think they are in reality absorbing more than we give them credit for, but the reality is that it is not a two way road (yet). I am an optimist in this regard. It really boils down to whether or not we as parents make a consistent effort to actually SPEAK to each other in Urdu, and therefore with our children.
It has been noted that even in households where parents speak Urdu, the children living abroad either stop speaking their native language soon after entering preschool, KG, etc. or never felt comfortable speaking it at all. So, if your children don’t speak Urdu either because you as a parent are not using it as the first language of communication in the household, or even if you are, and your children still either cannot or refuse to, I still feel that there is good in continuing to speak.
There are a lot of theories and much evidence that while children may not speak their native language, if they are around it and hear it being spoken, their young minds may be absorbing more than you think. Language acquisition begins from birth. Many linguistic experts agree for the most part that the years from birth to before puberty is when the brain is able to absorb the most language, as well as the proper accent and more ‘native-like’ fluency and pronounciation. This is considered the ‘critical’ or the milder term, ‘optimal’ period for first and second language acquisition.
Psycholinguists and cognitive scientists have debated this ‘critical period hypothesis’ quite enthusiastically (from: ‘Cognitive Scientists on Bilingual Education’, UPI, Steve Sailer – October 27, 2000):
MIT linguist Noam Chomsky is famous for demonstrating that children are born with an innate ability to learn words and grammar. He suggests caution on the subject but pointed out, ‘There is no dispute about the fact that pre-puberty (in fact, much earlier), children have unusual facility in acquiring new languages.’
Chomsky’s younger MIT colleague, cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, [now at Harvard] author of the bestsellers ‘The Language Instinct’ and ‘How the Mind Works, states, ‘When it comes to learning a second language, the younger the better. In a large study of Chinese immigrants who entered the U.S. at different ages, those who arrived after puberty showed the worst English language skills. Still, this finding of ‘younger is better’ extended to far younger ages. People who began to learn English at six ended up on average more proficient than those who began at seven, and so on.’ As an illustration, Pinker points to the famously thick German accent of former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who arrived in America at age fourteen. In contrast, his younger brother developed a standard American accent.
Pinker’s arch-rival, Terrence W. Deacon, a biological anthropologist at Boston University and author of ‘The Symbolic Species’ replies, ‘I have to agree with Steve Pinker[on this one particular issue]that learning a language early in life can be an advantage for developing language fluency and sophistication.’
I know from personal experience, that languages in which I was immersed or were spoken to during the ‘critical period’ years, are still with me, and seem to possess the ability to speak with minimal non-native accent. I lived in Thailand until age 14 and also learned French in elementary school (as well as being exposed to French in Laos-French IndoChina- during ages 5-9). Almost 2 decades later I can still converse to some coherent degree in those languages. I learned Spanish in my mid-twenties, and many (!) years later, I can barely remember 5-10 basic sentences!
Aisha PZ is the proud mother of two beautiful children and blogs at Boundless Meanderings. This post was originally published at ATP in September 2006.
Sridhar has a very good point — children’s books in Urdu are the very best way for them to learn. Children love their parent’s voices, and if you read them fables, histories, and tales in Urdu when they are young then they will come to love it. If you force it upon them as they get older, then they will rebel as all children do eventually.
It’s best to read to them before they know how to read or write, then the magic of the language is alive to them.
Perhaps there is a market for Urdu children’s authors that nobody realized?
If any proof were needed about the beauty of Urdu as a vehicle of expression , it has been provided by Adnan in the verses he has quoted. Apart from their deeper political and social meanings, and the pathos that they reflect, what moved me most was the combination of the words ‘aansoo’, ‘jugnoo’, ‘chaanay-walay’, ‘mera koi nahin’. Brought to mind Faiz’s immortal words
Apnay bekhawab kawaroon ko maqufal karlo
Ab yahaan koi nahin, koi nahin aayeega
The bottom line:
Only if you delight in your language (whichever it be) will you wish to pass it on to your children.
The question is not just about how many kids know Urdu. The question is how many parents own good books in Urdu and read them. The habit of reading is best inculcated at home and at an early age. It is not something that can be forced on kids. But if there are good books in Urdu at home, chances are that at least a subset of the kids would read some of those books. This would also generate an interest in reading.
But then, there is a chicken and egg part to this story. When you go to look for good children’s books in the mother tongue, they are hard to come by. There are good children’s books coming out of India and there is an old tradition of story telling, but most of the books are in English. The publishers say that there isn’t enough of a market for such books in these languages and hence good authors are not motivated to write children’s books in these languages. But the absence of books in turn deters children from developing an interest in books these languages in the first place. How does one break this vicious circle?
Interesting to note that the discussion so far has only been about speaking Urdu. Well if the kids don’t learn how to read and write (as is the case for majority of ABCDs I know) they will never appreciate the beauty of the language. I’m disappointed by the dearth of good learning resources (software/educational toys) for Urdu language. Any recommendations?
Though I am an Indian, I feel that the term ‘native language’ doesn’t reflect the pride we should have towards our language.
Even if Punjabi or Sindhi is your zabaan, you can say ‘National Language’ or else ‘Mother Tongue’. Please don’t take otherwise. I really admire your efforts towards teaching your kids Urdu. If people really think like you, Urdu would surely be the second major international language understood far and wide, across the globe.