Adil Najam
This Father’s Day brings a mixed bunch of feeling for me. I am traveling for work and literally thousands of miles away from my three kids. Missing them, and missing them especially on Father’s Day. There is nothing in the world that compares to parenthood – the greatest of joys, and the greatest of responsibilities!
On the other hand, since I am in Pakistan, I am with my own father on this day; and a time and an age comes when you start cherishing those moments more than you ever did before.
I thought I might put my kids photograph up today. But, actually, those photographs have been up on ATP since Day 1 – if you look at my ‘hum daikhain gay‘ video, the three kids ‘jo daikhain gay‘ who appear right at the beginning, are my own!
So I went back and re-opened the post I had done last Father’s Day. It was not about my kids. It was about the millions of father’s in Pakistan. What I wrote then, I think, is still valid and worth repeating. So, here is the post in full.
I know we are supposed to put cute and cuddly type of stuff on Father’s Day. But being a father is serious business. All the more serious in developing countries like Pakistan.
This picture was taken soon after [the 2005] earthquake, but you can see a scene like this — a desperate father frantically trying to get urgent medical attention for his child — ever day in hospital wards across Pakistan.
Happy Father’s Day, Everyday!
Nicely said. Glad you mentioned PARENTS instead of just fathers.
up top “caring for their parents..” has been a long day..
Reluctant Expat, You have made valid points. My mother was in an ICU and then general hospital for her heart for almost a month just a few months ago and during that traumatic period a lot of myths were shattered about Americans not caring for their periods. Not just during the visiting hours but I also saw people spending entire nights on a chair in a waiting room outside ICU praying and waiting to hear good news about their loved ones. One night a family invited the hospital priest for a collective prayer for their grand mother, I was sitting on the other side of the waiting room, and in their prayer they included my mother as well. That was their first night in the hospital and I did not know them.
I agree that americans treat their parents nicely, human nature is the same everywhere. There are bad and good children everywhere. Its my own personal feeling that I would rather keep my parents at home infront of my eyes and instead of spending money on a nursing home, keep a peronal attendent for them instead and also help them out when I am not working; and many americans do that too. But I think our discussion was on these days which I believe are cultural and regional, father’s day, mother’s day etc. And it looks funny to me when people in Pak. also celebrate Valantine’s Day and Holoween. Are they gonna celebrate ThanksGiving too which again is a regional celebration? I left Pak. 11 years ago and whenever I visit now, I see the diff. in culture, people do things which I don’t think are a part of our culture.
Fathers day evoke strong memories for reluctant pakistani expatriates like me. It reminds us of the time we did not spend with our fathers and mothers due to our economic migration from Pakistan. The migration hastened by army controling the purse of Pakistan.
During the late 1960s or early 70s when we arrived in USA, we did not have telephone and email connections of today. We did not have the ability of sending gifts of Mithai and cakes by internet. We passed the fathers day just like any other day striving to finish our graduate education or working hard to get a job to support our families.
Those who criticize and condemn the West for all things including fathers day celebration should know that the internet they are using for this purpose was also invented in the West. They talk about treatment of the old parents by sons and daughters should know that most Americans treat their parents nice and human manner. If they put them in nursing or old people homes, it is to provide dignity and provide apprproriate care. I see how the parking lots of the nursing homes filled with vistors in the evenings and weekends.