Adil Najam
This Father’s Day brings a mixed bunch of feeling for me. I am traveling for work and literally thousands of miles away from my three kids. Missing them, and missing them especially on Father’s Day. There is nothing in the world that compares to parenthood - the greatest of joys, and the greatest of responsibilities!
On the other hand, since I am in Pakistan, I am with my own father on this day; and a time and an age comes when you start cherishing those moments more than you ever did before.
I thought I might put my kids photograph up today. But, actually, those photographs have been up on ATP since Day 1 - if you look at my ‘hum daikhain gay‘ video, the three kids ‘jo daikhain gay‘ who appear right at the beginning, are my own!
So I went back and re-opened the post I had done last Father’s Day. It was not about my kids. It was about the millions of father’s in Pakistan. What I wrote then, I think, is still valid and worth repeating. So, here is the post in full.
I know we are supposed to put cute and cuddly type of stuff on Father’s Day. But being a father is serious business. All the more serious in developing countries like Pakistan.
This picture was taken soon after [the 2005] earthquake, but you can see a scene like this — a desperate father frantically trying to get urgent medical attention for his child — ever day in hospital wards across Pakistan.
Happy Father’s Day, Everyday!
I too was ‘on the road’ over Father’s Day - thanks for the sentimentality of spending time with one’s parents. I hope we bequeath to our children an improved world and better surroundings wherever we may live.
Just looking at the picture, people swimming on the beach, Does anybody knows the statics of people getting drowned in Karachi every year? I was raised by the sea and I always saw dead bodies being pulled out of the Arabian sea all the time.
Yes, this is certainly one instance where I’m proud of our family system in Pakistan. I don’t mean to imply in any way that neglect and even abuse of parents does not exist in Pakistan. But I do think, having lived almost ten years in the U.S. that, that this is one area where we’re in a pretty good place.
Most people in the U.S. are OBSESSED about their age and wanting to look youthful. At work, I interact closely with a man in his 50s and another in his 60s and they both tell me time and again that they envy the kind of system we have.
Forget neglect of one’s own parents, there is just an overall mistreatment of older people.
There is no harm in celebrating festivals coming from the west as long as they dont clash with our relegious and cultural value system.
Fahad is right in saying if an event is bringing the family close why not ??
But Moeen has more weight in his argument when he writes about Thanksgiving etc.
I personelly have this thing against Valentine day for example. I mean what are we teaching our children, its ok to have girl/boy friends and give them heart shaped baloons and teddy bears ?
I’d much rather my children celebrate Basant then Valentine’s day (minus the cut throat wire ofcourse)
The point is not, if aping the West blindly and copying them is right or wrong, the crux is that we SHOULD not do so at the expense of losing our own identity.
For years my children have attended birthday/fancy dress parties/ balls/ galas etc and yet not once there was any celebration invitation for a ‘Bismillah’ or an ‘Ameen’ !
Will we lose the Chand Raat/Eid celebrations to Fathers day now or do we have enough pride in our own identity to take the two together ?
I enjoyed gestures from my kids on father’s day happily and jokingly as their gift only served them more than myself. Nevetheless, let this post not become a popularity contest between the East and the West. Caring for elders is an altruistic act of human nature. I know some people back home who abused their parents and many who valued them. Likewise, recently one of my colleague gave me a tour of his new home and proudly pointed out to a part of the house as his mom’s future home. And from visits to Alzheimer and hospice groups we have see ample examples of how in the West life is valued and nurtured.
There is plenty of good on both sides to learn and emulate.
Happy fathers day!
Don’t cultures evolve over time, anything that brings the family closer is good I guess.
We can talk about dignity of death, hospice care etc, I think these are great concepts which people don’t have in Pakistan. We’ll be also shocked if someone does a study about the neglect & abuse parents get in Pakistan. Its a good idea to celebrate these days if you live in the west. I’m talking about Pakistan. I am not against fathers, I’m against celebrating these days in Pakistan, these are not OUR cultural events. Its a good idea to thank God, should we also celebrate Thanksgiving?(we’ll have to import turkeys). Its good to have fun before you get married, should we also have bachelor parties? Its good to have friends in your wedding, should we also have best man? Its fun to trick-a-treat, should we also celebrate Holoween? I think Eids, chand raat, basant, events in our wedding etc are great celebrations and we should stick to these; instead of following those nations who don’t care about our cultural events.
Father’s day is for those nation who do not know the dignity and respect of parents, we are chasing those nations now, as in all other fields.