Adil Najam
Sepoy, of Chapati Mystery fame, sent me this picture before. It is a crude sheyr (verse) crudely written at the back of a bus.
Girls these days are so proud of their beauty
They don’t know the first kalma, but speak in English
Sepoy said it made him chuckle. It makes me chuckle too. But it also makes me shudder a bit. And not just for the (lack of) poetic skills displayed here. The verse and its display probably says more about the way we view women – especially young women – than it does about the state of poetry in the country.
Notwithstanding the fact that not just rhyme but reason is also missing here and the first and second misras have little connection, the verse does suggest what is viewed good (knowing the pehla kalma) and what is not (speaking in English).
All too often people will presume that a certain behavior correlates to certain moral positions. I remember how we wrote on ATP about an Ad in Dawn’s classified section for
Thinking about the ad and all the societal assumptions imbedded in it still makes me mad. As did this interesting post from ATP friend Mansoor on Metroblog Karachi, where he writes about a new way of stealing cellphones that as practiced in Karachi.
A girl is standing at a bus stop, waiting to catch a bus to go home and talking on her cellphone. There are quite many people around and its daytime.
Two guys on a bike pull up in front of her, the guy on the back gets off the bike, comes in front of her, and without warning, plants a loud slap right on her face! The girl is stunned, cant even utter a word. He then shouts (for the benefit of whoever is listening) “kitney dafa bola hai! Abba ka cellphone nahi lay kar nikla karo” (how many times have i told you, not to take dads cellphone out), grabs her cell, gets back on the bike, and they both drive away.
The girl is too shocked to say anything and just stands there, her hand holding an imaginary cellphone to her ear. People around ignore the situation thinking its just some family tiff or the other…. till she screams out “ye mera bhai nahi tha!!!!!!!” (he was not my brother!!!!!)
What I found notable is that even though the post generated intense discussion it was mostly focused on crime prevention and law enforcement and very little about what – to me – was the most shocking line of all:
People around ignore the situtation thinking its just some family tiff or the other…
Wait, wait, wait. Please. It is OK if someone comes and slap their sister or wife or daughter in public? Or even in private? And the rest of us will say, ‘OK, its a family tiff.’
I must confess that I am shocked most because in my heart of heart I know that many people will, in fact, do exactly that. And, that, is the tragedy of it all.
[quote comment=”13208″]Has anyone noticed (specially you men) how Pakistani men stare at women. Even when they are outside Pakistan and even when they do not mean to. [/quote]
Absolutely! For some reason we are never told that staring is bad while growing up. In my experience if a person (man :) ) of “our” appearance is staring everyone for no reason then he can not be an Indian or a Bangladeshi but only a Pakistani. True, after a while we settle down and don’t stare as much but the phenomenon is there nevertheless in the first place.
Read on a banner outside Dr.Israr’s mosque in Model Town Extension, Lahore today:
Azadi-e-nuswaan: beesween saddi ka sab se bara fitna
Advertising a lecture by Doctor sahab on the topic at hand.
:)
salam
well i liked one comment in here made by saadia khan not becoz she said some thing in favor of the country where many are alive an rally against the victims unlike in the west!
The problem is that we think following some one else i mean the west by leaving ur own traditions an cultural values is some progression an the comment by MQ rationalising the point that happened in 80s!MQ dont rationalise!whats truth is evident on the ground no matter how modern or progressive u are its just not our culture that women are a presented as some “models” an naming it women rights!the same thing wat happend on the PIAs poster issue!ask ur own self does that show any where that its pakistan?i seen women degraded in american society 100 times more that our society!just becoz its america doesnt make it a model!showing skin wont make them better the thing that no one talks is EDUCATION no body ever raised a voice!being a doctor i have seen a general increase in female students comin in med schools of pakistan (mashallah) an we juss have one college exclusive for them FAtima Jinah rest compete with us an win!thts a health for society not posters showing women in skin that are not the social traditional cultural or even religious norms!i know women profesionals that are against it!”kawa chala hanss ki chaal apni bhi bhool gaya” or “duur kay dhool suhanay” an the verses qouted above has a bigger msg that follow wats progression and progression isnt wat west has made of a woman its the security that our family gives a women an the media is tryin to break it!women have excelled in pakistan there are cases an its norm everywhere in world i can show u woman batterin cases in juss NY that can shock u!media is trying to break the unity that the religion an culture had provided by themes like “religion is ones personal matter” its not the case with islam where its a deen of togetherness unification that makes it stand out from others! society will be better if our women get educated and get in front shoulder to shoulder to men which even islam dun forbid!
Mukhtaaran mai an dr shazia cases an the case in 80s was not to be rationalised with social norms they are an example of LAW n ORDER one side was feudals an one side was army!and a comman man dun poke in their buzinesses!
its norm in pakistan that as a guy i knew that if i tried to disrespect a gal there wud be consequences for me on the road! unlike in USA UK where u can even comment abt her figure coz its a norm unlike ours!try tht to even a modern pakistani women ull get the answer!an i love it its wat a woman is a sign of RESPECT unlike west where shes juss an object of desire!
an fer women folks try to follow the steps tht enlighten ur thouts an mental status think of wmoen like fatima jinnah( a dentist ) begum liaqat an many more tht did by virtue of their sheer hard work an competition the true definition of equality.,not by not observing pardah or things tht are against our culture an least the religion!
Has anyone noticed (specially you men) how Pakistani men stare at women. Even when they are outside Pakistan and even when they do not mean to. An American woman once pointed this out to me and I have noticed that even teh most decent Pakistani men are just trained to look at women so very differently. Not in a bad way (but that too) but in an uncomfortable way.
These incidents may not be the norm but they indicate a general sense we have. I do think that the ‘ghairat’ we men have is selective, and is more based on protecting OUR honor than respecting women’s dignity.