Hot off the Urdu Press – 8

Posted on July 26, 2007
Filed Under >Owais Mughal, Humor
15 Comments
Total Views: 82299

Owais Mughal

The source of following news items are the Pakistan’s two largest Urdu dailies, viz Jang and Nawa-i-waqt. Now bring a smile to your face and take a look at these news.

(1) ye water cooler aap ka hoa: Neelam Ghar

Neelam Ghar (Auction House) was Pakistan Televison’s longest running stage show. One thing that I remember from it was how easily the host Tariq Aziz used to gift Water Coolers to his audience. For every right or wrong answer he used to raise his arm in the air and shout:

“na meray bhai…jawab ghalat hai..magar Water Cooler aap ka hoa…”

(No brother… your answer is wrong…but you have won a Water Cooler)

This water cooler was mostly of Rahbar brand whose motto used to be ‘is meiN pani thanda 24 ghantay rehta hai’ (It keeps water cold for 24 hours). Following news tells us how Lahore Press Club arranged a version of Neelam Ghar for journalists and their families. What made me smile was the list of give aways. Looks like they tried to copy gift-list from the original Neelam Ghar. And sure enough, our famous Water Cooler was included in hundreds of gifts that were given out to the attendees. This news by the way is from daily Nawa-i-waqt of July 25, 2007.



(2) Five Year Old Ghee Proved to be Bad for Health after Lab Tests

My Comment: Was Lab test necessary to prove it :) Also note how they got rid of the ghee later on. They burned it. A friend of mine pointed out to me that the smoke of burned ghee must have been very good for health. This news was from Jang Multan of July 6, 2007.

(3) Names of some Upcoming Lollywood Movies

This is a collection of three different news items collected over the past month. The names of these movies show a trend in the society. Should I say a divided society? – as there was this Shoaib Mansoor movie which also got released this week.

For our English readership the names of these movies roughly translate as: The Barbaric Rajput, Achoo Lahoriite, The Absconder Rajput, Bala the Criminal and The Unique Huntress

:)

(4) A Baby Snake came out of a Chicken Egg…..TWICE

The mere fact that news like this can make up to the largest Urdu daily of Pakistan, Jang speaks volumes of standard of Urdu journalism. News is from Faisalabad (Chichawatni) local section of June 7, 2007.

(5) Mirror! Mirror! On the Wall: says Paris Hilton

This news appeared in Jang Karachi, of June 15, 2007 while Paris Hilton was still in jail. It explains why Paris Hilton stopped looking in the mirror because of her guilt. It further tells us about what noble thoughts were coming to her mind while she was reflecting on her life in the solitude of jail etc etc.

This was the the 8th post in our series on Hot Off the Urdu Press. The previous seven news collection of this series can be read here: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7.

15 responses to “Hot off the Urdu Press – 8”

  1. Roshan says:

    I liked the news item about snake out of chicken egg.

  2. BelligerentPacifist says:

    OM sahab, I think ‘auction house’ for ‘neelam ghar’ looks better than ‘bidding house’. What say?

  3. Indscribe says:

    It also seems fashionable in certain quarters to make a fun of Urdu press. Of course, Urdu newspapers have a different culture and everything can’t be sophisticated and anglicised in the world.

    In India, it is also common to hear that ‘Urdu papers survive on trivia and that they serve baasi news’. However, they do serve their objective well.

    I liked a reader’s response when he said that Urdu papers are read for views and not for news, as news one gets from TV and other media. The fact remains that the ordinary reader feels close to the Urdu paper compared to the English newspapers.

  4. Dear Friend of Pakistan:

    USAIM is seeking emergency funding to support the work of the International Organization for Migration’s efforts in Pakistan. Intense storms and a major cyclone at the end of June and early July 2007 caused severe flooding in Pakistan, displacing over 300,000 people and affecting more than 2.5 million. Balochistan and Sindh provinces in southern Pakistan are worst affected, with 280 confirmed deaths and a further 188 missing persons. The flooding has already spread to 18 districts in Balochistan and a further five in Sindh, and the monsoon season is expected to continue for the next two to three months.

    Preliminary assessments have identified needs and priorities. The displaced population is in an extremely vulnerable state, with many living in makeshift spontaneous settlements, camps and public buildings. The affected population has an urgent need for emergency shelter materials that can be used for reconstruction of homes.
    As part of its response initiative, IOM is seeking $250,000 for a project designed to provide emergency shelter material for housing. The project is designed to also provide a ‘quick start’ to local markets in order to produce income for work. In this manner, IOM can support the emergency needs of the population and begin to put the local economy back on its feet.
    USAIM has more information on this work and on IOM on its web site at http://www.usaformigrants.org. We ask that you please place this information on your website so that concerned members of the Pakistan diaspora can learn about the project and, hopefully, contribute to this lifesaving project. Please contact IOM’s Private Sector Liaison, Mr. Scott Schirmer in Geneva, Switzerland, at drdpsl@iom.int should you have questions or need additional information .
    Sincerely,
    Mirsada A. Pasalic

  5. JayJay says:

    Urdu press is good for a laugh – and spreading ignorance.

    Re: Mirror! Mirror; the news item has been attributed to APP, the Associated Press of Pakistan, from LA. I know for the fact that APP does not have any correspondent or a stinger based in Los Angeles.

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