Owais Mughal
Browsing through National Urdu Dailies today (all of these are from today) I came across following news. I find it an interesting mix. Some of these will make you smile, some will confuse you and some may intrigue you. Take a look (clicking on the image will give you a larger view):
(1) This one is from Quetta. Last night 2 manhole covers got stolen there. Authorities are now asking people to help.
(2) This person ‘Chand Bhai’ (brother moon) seems very concerned about the quality of cellular service. Who is this ‘chand bhai’ by the way? A Karachi local news
(3) First news is from Nawa-i-Waqt and is reported by none other than our famous ‘Cultural Reporter’. Baji Sangeeta is apparently a candidate for the chair-woman-ship of Pakistan Film Producers Association. Read about the challenge she is giving to her opponents. I also enjoyed reading names of some of her followers.
(4) This one is from today’s Jang. It is a news from Quetta from a union council called ‘Samandar Khan’ and it is kind of sad. I was intrigued by the modus operandi of addicts as reported here: they seem to frequent graveyards where they accost those coming to mourn their loved ones and then threaten that they will stab themselves to commit suicide unless they are given money!
(5) This is a Karachi Local news. The word ‘daryaft’ (discovered) made me laugh out loud. Sounds like a secret passage under an Egyptian pryramid got discovered. Also note the route of this hidden sewrage metculously investigated by the ‘Jang’ reporter all the way upto Arabian Sea. Enjoy
(6) I couldn’t understand how motorcycles will help in artificial breeding of dairy animals. This is a Lahore local from today’s Jang.
(7) Sad news but the use of word ‘bilbila’ made me smile
haha @ news#6
About Chand Bhai, as a poet once said:
Jithnay th-hay dil kay armaan, sub hee mand hoe gayay
Aik chand uss ka mamoo hai aur aik yay khaaksaar
Lo is bahany hee hum chand hoe gayay
[Kashif Yaqoob]
It happened to me a lot of times that I wondered through the whole paper (the kind we are talking about) actually looking for a news. I would like to mention such blunders particularly in the evening papers
An army of such papers is emerging with weird names and headlines that can sweep a person off his feet for a moment 
. They are a treat to look at for these kinds of errors, exaggerations, funny remarks and last but not the least, advertisements (beyond our imagination).
News # 1 sounds funny!
No. 1 is both hillarious and sad…..
bay chaari awam aab dhakkan DhonDnay kay leeaye he rah gaaye hai!
I guess many of us are avid dawn readers so you must’ve read this by now. It is a headline from today’s dawn and made me laugh
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‘One-dish’ meal of six items allowed: Parliament approves bill
By Raja Asghar
ISLAMABAD, Aug 22: In a rare show of urgency and consensus in one house, both houses of parliament passed a private bill on Tuesday to allow what the draft called ‘one-dish’ � but actually up to six-items � meals at wedding ceremonies.
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Wednesday, August 23, 2006 (Jang Group Online)
http://www.jang-group.com/jang/aug2006-daily/23-08 -2006/euro.htm
Shaibaan ka aaghaaz kab ho ga?
London (Numainda-e-Jang): Nayya CHAND aaj shaam ko Bartaania mein suraj gharoob hooney ke 4 minute baad 8 baj kar 10 minute per PAIDA HO GA……….
[…] This is the sixth episode in the series of Urdu Press news. The previous five news collection can be read here: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. […]