If, like myself, you are parents of children growing up ‘abroad,’ then we probably share a common angst if our children do not or cannot speak our native language.
Having grown up outside of Pakistan my entire life, save numerous long summers during early schooling years and then later, almost bi-annual winters during college and thereafter, I am able to converse and understand spoken Urdu. It is thanks to my parents, who spoke Urdu throughout my young formative years, and our visits to the motherland, that I am able today, to appreciate more of my rich culture because I have the ability to communicate and comprehend Urdu. My wish and hope is that my children too, are able to have this wonderful gift and opportunity. In the world we now live in, especially for our American/foreign born children, the need for them to have a strong sense of belonging and a positive self-identity in the western societies they live in, is paramount in my opinion.
As a parent of two young children, my husband & I constantly struggle with the fact that our children are not speaking Urdu. We think they understand the language in some minimal capacity, but not nearly enough to elicit proper comprehension or more far flung verbal communication. We – or rather I – think they are in reality absorbing more than we give them credit for, but the reality is that it is not a two way road (yet). I am an optimist in this regard. It really boils down to whether or not we as parents make a consistent effort to actually SPEAK to each other in Urdu, and therefore with our children.
It has been noted that even in households where parents speak Urdu, the children living abroad either stop speaking their native language soon after entering preschool, KG, etc. or never felt comfortable speaking it at all. So, if your children don’t speak Urdu either because you as a parent are not using it as the first language of communication in the household, or even if you are, and your children still either cannot or refuse to, I still feel that there is good in continuing to speak.
There are a lot of theories and much evidence that while children may not speak their native language, if they are around it and hear it being spoken, their young minds may be absorbing more than you think. Language acquisition begins from birth. Many linguistic experts agree for the most part that the years from birth to before puberty is when the brain is able to absorb the most language, as well as the proper accent and more ‘native-like’ fluency and pronounciation. This is considered the ‘critical’ or the milder term, ‘optimal’ period for first and second language acquisition.
Psycholinguists and cognitive scientists have debated this ‘critical period hypothesis’ quite enthusiastically (from: ‘Cognitive Scientists on Bilingual Education’, UPI, Steve Sailer – October 27, 2000):
MIT linguist Noam Chomsky is famous for demonstrating that children are born with an innate ability to learn words and grammar. He suggests caution on the subject but pointed out, ‘There is no dispute about the fact that pre-puberty (in fact, much earlier), children have unusual facility in acquiring new languages.’
Chomsky’s younger MIT colleague, cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, [now at Harvard] author of the bestsellers ‘The Language Instinct’ and ‘How the Mind Works, states, ‘When it comes to learning a second language, the younger the better. In a large study of Chinese immigrants who entered the U.S. at different ages, those who arrived after puberty showed the worst English language skills. Still, this finding of ‘younger is better’ extended to far younger ages. People who began to learn English at six ended up on average more proficient than those who began at seven, and so on.’ As an illustration, Pinker points to the famously thick German accent of former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who arrived in America at age fourteen. In contrast, his younger brother developed a standard American accent.
Pinker’s arch-rival, Terrence W. Deacon, a biological anthropologist at Boston University and author of ‘The Symbolic Species’ replies, ‘I have to agree with Steve Pinker[on this one particular issue]that learning a language early in life can be an advantage for developing language fluency and sophistication.’
I know from personal experience, that languages in which I was immersed or were spoken to during the ‘critical period’ years, are still with me, and seem to possess the ability to speak with minimal non-native accent. I lived in Thailand until age 14 and also learned French in elementary school (as well as being exposed to French in Laos-French IndoChina- during ages 5-9). Almost 2 decades later I can still converse to some coherent degree in those languages. I learned Spanish in my mid-twenties, and many (!) years later, I can barely remember 5-10 basic sentences!
Aisha PZ is the proud mother of two beautiful children and blogs at Boundless Meanderings. This post was originally published at ATP in September 2006.
Interesting discussion – thank you all for your comments. It is quite ironic that many of us who are raising children abroad, worry whether or not our children can or will be able to speak Urdu, are hearing how prevalent English has become among a very small (relative to the whole population!) group in our society, and how Urdu is also spoken less among the current generation of children in certain circles back in Pakistan. Living abroad, we are hoping our children will speak Urdu, so that they can at a minimum, visit their homeland, understand the culture they visit, as well as be able to communicate more extensively with their families and relatives.
I am curious to know the real reasons why in today’s Pakistan, that certain children are not being encouraged to learn/speak Urdu? I can understand people want to be perceived as modern, progressive, educated and be able to assimilate to the West, but why reject Urdu? Is it considered ‘uncool’ or is it something deeper, where the few schools they attend are not dedicating enough resources, time and academic effort to an Urdu curriculum? Those who choose not to impart Urdu to their children growing up in Pakistan (frankly, I’m trying to figure out how these youngsters will fare in a society where the majority of the population speaks Urdu, Punjabi or some other regional language, and what a loss they will be at, for feeling like a foreigner in their own land and not be able to go about life’s daily activities – or perhaps I am naive and there is a way to get around it?), are sorely going miss out in the long run…
To Suleman: I am sure you were only using an abbreviation, but having lived abroad like ‘UN-kid’ me, you do realize that the term ‘Paki’ is used perjoratively in the UK…Thanks for your clarifications.
I found this site quite resourceful for you ‘expats’ out there…Free publicity for: https://www.pakxpats.com/index.aspx
Thanks.
AlviPervaiz, didn’t intend to offend you by using the term, Paki, for Pakistani, just using abbreviations. :)
BTW, I wasn’t “an embassy kid”,if anything a “UN kid”.
Dear Suleman:
In your posting above when I first saw the term “Paki Embassy Kids” used by you I thought it was an oversight on your part. But then I noticed further useages of the same term like “we paki are very prejudiced society” and “paki circles”. Now I am not to tell you what you should call yourself, but could you spare rest of us Pakistanis from this term. We will like to share your pride in the fact that inspite of spending most of your life abroad as an ’embassy kid’ you are able to speak Urdu fluently with no accent. But would you be kind enough not to hurt our pride by calling us “pakis”. I hope there is no case of ‘ABCD’ here. Or is it?
Respectfuly yours.
Interesting discussion. Here are my .02 cents. Agreeing with Pakexpt and Adnan. I’d like to add aside from the class differences and forefather’s embedded inferiority complex thanks to colonialism, which we as a nation have still not overcome; I would still hold the parents responsible.
Having spent most of my life abroad, I’m proud to speak fluent Urdu with no accent and I’d extend the credit to my parents. I was 5 when I moved to Turkey, and spent the next 8 years there, attending British and American schools with no Urdu exposure other than at home or while interacting with Paki Embassy kids. I now have a 20-month-old daughter myself who is here in the States, and funny thing is she predominantly speaks/understands Urdu with a few words of English she knows. That is because living as an expatriate in US any immigrant kid will know English or end up picking it up , but as Aisha indicates her concern, here we as parents have to ensure they know their parent’s native language. Particularly, if they wish to interact and be part of that culture, as we all would admit, we pakis are very prejudiced society, and if our children can’t speak Urdu, ideally without an accent, don’t be surprised if they are classified as “ABCDâ€
I know a few of my cousions/friends trying to make their kids learn and speak Urdu. I have seen them doing the following:
Talk to each other and to the kids in Urdu as the kids cannot avoid listening & talking to their parents.
Text books help too. One can always get the Urdu text books from Pakistan according to the kids’ grades (class level) and try to teach them at home. Reading, writing, dictation etc.
Particularly during the vacation time, try giving them some good story books in Urdu and ask them to read and discuss with you or write an abridged version of the story in their own words.
On the other hand, if kids can learn English Spanish, French or any other language at school, they are capable of learning Urdu as well.