If, like myself, you are parents of children growing up ‘abroad,’ then we probably share a common angst if our children do not or cannot speak our native language.
Having grown up outside of Pakistan my entire life, save numerous long summers during early schooling years and then later, almost bi-annual winters during college and thereafter, I am able to converse and understand spoken Urdu. It is thanks to my parents, who spoke Urdu throughout my young formative years, and our visits to the motherland, that I am able today, to appreciate more of my rich culture because I have the ability to communicate and comprehend Urdu. My wish and hope is that my children too, are able to have this wonderful gift and opportunity. In the world we now live in, especially for our American/foreign born children, the need for them to have a strong sense of belonging and a positive self-identity in the western societies they live in, is paramount in my opinion.
As a parent of two young children, my husband & I constantly struggle with the fact that our children are not speaking Urdu. We think they understand the language in some minimal capacity, but not nearly enough to elicit proper comprehension or more far flung verbal communication. We – or rather I – think they are in reality absorbing more than we give them credit for, but the reality is that it is not a two way road (yet). I am an optimist in this regard. It really boils down to whether or not we as parents make a consistent effort to actually SPEAK to each other in Urdu, and therefore with our children.
It has been noted that even in households where parents speak Urdu, the children living abroad either stop speaking their native language soon after entering preschool, KG, etc. or never felt comfortable speaking it at all. So, if your children don’t speak Urdu either because you as a parent are not using it as the first language of communication in the household, or even if you are, and your children still either cannot or refuse to, I still feel that there is good in continuing to speak.
There are a lot of theories and much evidence that while children may not speak their native language, if they are around it and hear it being spoken, their young minds may be absorbing more than you think. Language acquisition begins from birth. Many linguistic experts agree for the most part that the years from birth to before puberty is when the brain is able to absorb the most language, as well as the proper accent and more ‘native-like’ fluency and pronounciation. This is considered the ‘critical’ or the milder term, ‘optimal’ period for first and second language acquisition.
Psycholinguists and cognitive scientists have debated this ‘critical period hypothesis’ quite enthusiastically (from: ‘Cognitive Scientists on Bilingual Education’, UPI, Steve Sailer – October 27, 2000):
MIT linguist Noam Chomsky is famous for demonstrating that children are born with an innate ability to learn words and grammar. He suggests caution on the subject but pointed out, ‘There is no dispute about the fact that pre-puberty (in fact, much earlier), children have unusual facility in acquiring new languages.’
Chomsky’s younger MIT colleague, cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, [now at Harvard] author of the bestsellers ‘The Language Instinct’ and ‘How the Mind Works, states, ‘When it comes to learning a second language, the younger the better. In a large study of Chinese immigrants who entered the U.S. at different ages, those who arrived after puberty showed the worst English language skills. Still, this finding of ‘younger is better’ extended to far younger ages. People who began to learn English at six ended up on average more proficient than those who began at seven, and so on.’ As an illustration, Pinker points to the famously thick German accent of former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who arrived in America at age fourteen. In contrast, his younger brother developed a standard American accent.
Pinker’s arch-rival, Terrence W. Deacon, a biological anthropologist at Boston University and author of ‘The Symbolic Species’ replies, ‘I have to agree with Steve Pinker[on this one particular issue]that learning a language early in life can be an advantage for developing language fluency and sophistication.’
I know from personal experience, that languages in which I was immersed or were spoken to during the ‘critical period’ years, are still with me, and seem to possess the ability to speak with minimal non-native accent. I lived in Thailand until age 14 and also learned French in elementary school (as well as being exposed to French in Laos-French IndoChina- during ages 5-9). Almost 2 decades later I can still converse to some coherent degree in those languages. I learned Spanish in my mid-twenties, and many (!) years later, I can barely remember 5-10 basic sentences!
Aisha PZ is the proud mother of two beautiful children and blogs at Boundless Meanderings. This post was originally published at ATP in September 2006.
“Had Jinnah agreed to the suggestion of Sir Agha Khan and had Arabic as the national language, we would not be losing half of our country and fragmented along linguistic lines.”
What a ridiculous idea! Arabic? Even the mullahs wouldn’t be so naive as to make that suggestion. Such a thought is quite reflective of our interpretation of religion. We seem to lack the ability to distinguish Islam from Arabic culture.
Personally, I don’t think a diverse country like Pakistan shouldn’t have a set national or provincial languages; fighting over this issue is the last thing we need right now.
I’m in my mid-twenties, grew up in a Sindhi household, but still think that Urdu is a beautiful language and should be kept alive in its original form wherever possible (and no, I’m not referring to the tortured form propagated by Bollywood).
Assalam-u-Alaikum,
At one point I used to think that Urdu language will be useless soon. But thanks to Bollywood it seems that Urdu language is going to last a little longer.
In North America I have seen that the homes in which watching Bollywood flicks and South Asian TV channels is common their kids are more comfortable conversing in Urdu.
Learning Arabic is an excellent idea too and as a muslim I think we should give priority to Arabic but learning Urdu is not that hard especially if its spoken at home. So why not?
Its not like your kids will be any worse with their English accent. The kids will have a better world view, a higher IQ and hence better chances. I don’t see your kids losing in anyway if they are taught Urdu.
And if they learn it then all that literature including all the religious books available to them.
This is an interesting post. I’m going against the dominant mood of the discussion here, but one must really ask the question: what is the point of teaching your children urdu? As Dr. Qureshi as alluded to, if your children are going to grow up overseas, they will become (and should be encouraged to become) like the children of the society they are born into. As your children grow older, if they want to learn about the language and culture of their parents, they will make an effort to learn it themselves. From the children’s point of view, forcing seemingly alien traditions upon them will probably provide developmentally problematic and cause difficulties for them to assimilate in school, etc.
As it is, nearly every single immigrant community eventually loses its ancestral linguistic traditions. The first generation immigrants will try and teach their children their native langauge. The second generation parents, however, doesn’t make an effort to continue that linguistic tradition. By the time the third generation of immigrants has reached adult age, they are unable to speak the language of their grandparents. I’m not suggesting that this will happen in your family, but just pointing out that this a trend that has been observed in nearly every single immigrant community.
Having said that, if you are sure that you really want them to grow up with a Pakistani identity, I am not one to discourage you. I wish you the best of luck!
During ZAB’s time when Sindhi was declared as the language of Sindh, I vividly remember Jang newspaper had the front page completely black and in large size text the headline “Aaj Sindh mai_n Urdu zuban ka jinaza nikel gaya” that was followed by worst riots in which over 210 people were killed – that was the beginning of the disgust I felt for this language. As I read history the history of this “lashkari zuban” of Delhi, I became convinced that Urdu contributed to Pakistan in a very negative manner starting with 1953 riots in East Pakistan, intensification of MQM and growth of a pseudo-“daniswer” class that belittled non Urdu speaking people.
Do not take me wrong, I have a fairly large collection of Urdu literature and love the poetry but within a historic context of Pakistan this language has brought us less good and more misery. Had Jinnah agreed to the suggestion of Sir Agha Khan and had Arabic as the national language, we would not be losing half of our country and fragmented along linguistic lines.
My kids were born here in the US and they speak fluent Urdu even though I have been a reluctant partner in this endeavor and my wife has a Persian background. It is not just Urdu, multilingual kids are shown to have a better intellect and social skills.
But for those Urdu speaking expats who could not get their kids to speak Urdu in this country, my advice is – do not burden your kids with your own nostalgia. They have a future and we are the past. Help them forward without a guilt.
If your children are growing up abroad, why would you want them to keep speaking Urdu like you. They will become and should become like children in the society they are growing up in. What is wrong with that?