Adil Najam
Sometimes one is left completely speechless. And I was upon seeing this picture in the Daily Times (21 April) of a man beating his wife as their son looks on.
But the real story here is about a society that chooses to loose its speech and prefers to remain silent in the face of a wide scale menace of acute domestic violence and spousal (and familial) abuse of women.
This is not something that is restricted only to the poorest classes. Although it is often hidden behind ‘sufaid poshi’ such violence against women is more common in our society than most of us would care to accept. Remember, for example, the case of former Pakistan cricket captain Moin Khan who was taken in custody after beating his wife while drunk.
I wonder what the child in this photograph will grow up thinking. I wonder how many children have grown up witnessing such scenes. I wonder what such emotional scars have done to them.
It is indeed true that such incidents of violence happen all over the world. There is no evidence at all that they happen more in Pakistan than elsewhere. In terms of reported cases they may be even less. But that is not the point. This is not a competition.
Saying that it happens everywhere or that it happens even more in other places is neither an excuse nor a consolation. One case would, in my opinion, be one too many. And there are clearly much more than one. As Pakistanis – no, as human beings – we must speak against such violence everywhere; but, first within our own society.
Jabir,
Your figures are wrong. The number of rapes in the US is much higher. But that cannot be used as an excuse to justify domestic violence in Pakistan. Another point that has made several times on this and other posts is that in the US, Europe or other civilized countries, once a case of rape or DV is reported to the police, the law takes its course and usually the perpetrators are punished under the law. That does not happen in Pakistan. In fact, in Pakistan, such crimes are often condoned in the name of honor or other medieval social values. Why? That is the point you should focus your attention on, rather than quoting irrelevant and incorrect statistics and muddying the discussion.
Jabir: I see an illiterate person beating his wife to let off steam, because he can.
Akif, I have many relatives and friends and I can say it does not exist at the level as you might want to imagine. So the question, is DV a major problem in your family?
And people who live in countries like USA where 200000 rapes are committed per year have the audacity to point a finger at us, while all relying on third rate data provided by obfuscating quick buck mass media.
Jabir, in my opinion, DV is a product of having a society where women do not have any power, social or economic and they are perpetually in a dependent situation with regards to other men. The social norms does not allow her to exist without being tied to a “strong” man who can look after her needs. By implication, this attitude causes her to believe that she is weak and to accept his strength with all the “bads” that come with it, including DV.
Adnan, I do read Pakistani papers, and they report violence against women at the hands of men every day, never the other way around, in fact I asked to discuss this in terms of Dawn and other papers and you ignored what I wrote.
Today April 24 ONLY, as per Dawn:
*Policeman Guns Down Two Women (one of them 60 years old, they were his relatives. He escaped)
*15 Year Old Girl Gang Raped for Days
*Woman and her four children shot
*Karo-Kari family ordered by jirga to surrender their two young daughters to their accusers as punishment
*Family Planning Clinic Bombed and nearby houses damaged
You say I don’t read the newspapers but I think it’s you who don’t. Where are the women perpetrators here?
Women are not doing this. To try to turn the tables over on them is really a very low ploy on your part. You have nothing else so you keep saying this. Please stop. Your stubborn blindness is a discredit to your country.