Adil Najam
Sometimes one is left completely speechless. And I was upon seeing this picture in the Daily Times (21 April) of a man beating his wife as their son looks on.
But the real story here is about a society that chooses to loose its speech and prefers to remain silent in the face of a wide scale menace of acute domestic violence and spousal (and familial) abuse of women.
This is not something that is restricted only to the poorest classes. Although it is often hidden behind ‘sufaid poshi’ such violence against women is more common in our society than most of us would care to accept. Remember, for example, the case of former Pakistan cricket captain Moin Khan who was taken in custody after beating his wife while drunk.
I wonder what the child in this photograph will grow up thinking. I wonder how many children have grown up witnessing such scenes. I wonder what such emotional scars have done to them.
It is indeed true that such incidents of violence happen all over the world. There is no evidence at all that they happen more in Pakistan than elsewhere. In terms of reported cases they may be even less. But that is not the point. This is not a competition.
Saying that it happens everywhere or that it happens even more in other places is neither an excuse nor a consolation. One case would, in my opinion, be one too many. And there are clearly much more than one. As Pakistanis – no, as human beings – we must speak against such violence everywhere; but, first within our own society.
@Akbar A.H,
to begin with,
Lazim hay keh ham bhi dekhain gay…….(long-term)
84 comments with some thunderings, but
it was’nt too bad, don’t you think ?
Kilaasik –
In a discussion around domestic violence perhaps it might make sense to discuss a solution or perhaps use this as an advertising space for those that are doing good work in this area. Anyone have any thoughts in this area?
-K
82 comments on a commentable topic
@ Its been a year since this thread got into a very
tight and narrow vigilance, and I was wondering did
anyone catch the main reason for this domestic violence,
atleast in Pakistan.
Probably the main theme mingled with extra hyperactive arguments over men or women responsible for such anomaly.
Well, we do miss something here very obvious and that is the absence of moral disuasive tactics in the society in order to prevent such disaster.
You have to admit that violence is ‘bell et bien’ present 24 hours to such ferocity that a simple verbal argument turnup into a battle scene, one giving, the other receiving punches, kicks and fists, the process is somewhere disrupted by sudden reaction of apparently men who decides
to use physical hitting on women, a moral can intervene and
prevent this drama, but beating has no moral reason where
as verbal arguments could be handled in the most decent
way, for that ” A MORAL ” is required to intervene and
prevent some one not to go too far.
The only factor capable to do is Islamic morals in a family or between a couple or among friends, neighbours colleagues.
A muslim is suppose to holdon to his/her anger, as hundreds
of ahadith quoting anger as evil and destructor ,being the
base root of violence, we have to consider the psycological
deficiencies in human faculties as well.
In general, all the religious morals have their reserves on the matter.
What Pakistani society needs is return to old Islamic etiquetts, adab-o-adaam, lehaz, sharm, haya and
zabaan, let your children call you ” aap ” and you to them
as well, then you can see the difference.
Myself I always adressed my Parents ( Allah maghfirah)
with AAP even when I became father of three, but they also
adressed me always with AAP, in turn, me and my kids use
always AAP, we never go into angry arguments (Alhamdulilah)
WE NEVER EVER USED ” TU TUM ” at home.
These are the real problems of society that we need to get rid of. But we find politics much more interesting
I have a dream…
One day there will be an ATP post on a serious topic like this and it will NOT become a shouting match…. Hum daikhain gay!