Adil Najam
Sometimes one is left completely speechless. And I was upon seeing this picture in the Daily Times (21 April) of a man beating his wife as their son looks on.
But the real story here is about a society that chooses to loose its speech and prefers to remain silent in the face of a wide scale menace of acute domestic violence and spousal (and familial) abuse of women.
This is not something that is restricted only to the poorest classes. Although it is often hidden behind ‘sufaid poshi’ such violence against women is more common in our society than most of us would care to accept. Remember, for example, the case of former Pakistan cricket captain Moin Khan who was taken in custody after beating his wife while drunk.
I wonder what the child in this photograph will grow up thinking. I wonder how many children have grown up witnessing such scenes. I wonder what such emotional scars have done to them.
It is indeed true that such incidents of violence happen all over the world. There is no evidence at all that they happen more in Pakistan than elsewhere. In terms of reported cases they may be even less. But that is not the point. This is not a competition.
Saying that it happens everywhere or that it happens even more in other places is neither an excuse nor a consolation. One case would, in my opinion, be one too many. And there are clearly much more than one. As Pakistanis – no, as human beings – we must speak against such violence everywhere; but, first within our own society.
I think what’s important is not to demonize this man or others in his situation. He’s probably no monster; he’s doing what he knows. Like they say: hate the sin, not the sinner.
MQ sahib the case of mai was in court, she was warned by her lawyers to not to follow NGO’s as it would hurt her case. She didn’t listen. There can’t be two opinions about it. Second where were these NGO’s and their mentor the West when more than 30000 Kashmiri women got raped by Indian forces? Was there similar outcry in the MSM?
Jabir Khan,
[quote ] “Second, underreporting of rapes is major problem in the west, kindly do not deny it. Not many cases make it to the courts.”[/quote]
Again you are muddying the discussion. A lawyer would say, obfuscating it.
I am not denying anything. I simply corrected your estimates. The factual position on reporting such cases in the US is that only 16 per cent rapes are reported. (I am not pulling these figures from my hat.) In Pakistan the percentage is far less! But that is not the issue.
Contrary to what you say, when a case is reported in the US or the West, it has to end up in a court and dealt with according to the law. No honor code, no SHO or a wadera, no congressman or a senator, no mayor or a governor can bury the case or force a “muk-muka” on the victim. Nor they have such dubious laws by which you can bribe the victim and let the perpetrator go free.
[quote]”Third, try to follow me, I am not saying we don’t have problems but we shall not let some dollar hungry liberal goon NGOs hijack these issues. In nearly all the famous cases this is what happened in the end.” [/quote]
Yes, I do follow you. No “liberal goon” or NGOs would hijack your issues if you dealt with them yourself. If you don’t deal with the issues then other will “hijack” them whether you allow them or not. This is the crux of the whole discussion. Deal with the issues of rape and DV in your society. Don’t hide them! All the “famous cases” became famous when you didn’t do anything about them.
*grin*
Jabir,lagta hay apna Akif Nizam sahab ke “Aqal” kal raat _Domestic Violence_ ka shikar hogaye hey jis k waja se ye behak gye hain :-)
MQ my figures are ‘conservative’ and I used them deliberately so as avoid being in the same league as those who blow everything out of proportion. Second underreporting of rapes is major problem in the west, kindly do not deny it. Not many cases make it to the courts.
Third, try to follow me, I am not saying we don’t have problems but we shall not let some dollar hungry liberal goon NGOs hijack these issues. In nearly all the famous cases this is what happened in the end. so doodh ka jalaa chaach bhi phoonk mar kar peeta hai.
Akif I was going to say something but ‘observing’ your last post does not leave much.
Jabir: I see an illiterate person beating his wife to let off steam, because he can.
There must be a cause of his steam, I wonder what? and why is he illiterate, hmmmm dunno oh I am lost.
I wonder how we all look under the microscope of the ATP mods who r trying to study us and bewildered kay hum lartay kion rahtay hain, kuch kartay kion nahi.
Kiyon, larna khood say kaam nahi hai kiya?