If, like myself, you are parents of children growing up ‘abroad,’ then we probably share a common angst if our children do not or cannot speak our native language.
Having grown up outside of Pakistan my entire life, save numerous long summers during early schooling years and then later, almost bi-annual winters during college and thereafter, I am able to converse and understand spoken Urdu. It is thanks to my parents, who spoke Urdu throughout my young formative years, and our visits to the motherland, that I am able today, to appreciate more of my rich culture because I have the ability to communicate and comprehend Urdu. My wish and hope is that my children too, are able to have this wonderful gift and opportunity. In the world we now live in, especially for our American/foreign born children, the need for them to have a strong sense of belonging and a positive self-identity in the western societies they live in, is paramount in my opinion.
As a parent of two young children, my husband & I constantly struggle with the fact that our children are not speaking Urdu. We think they understand the language in some minimal capacity, but not nearly enough to elicit proper comprehension or more far flung verbal communication. We – or rather I – think they are in reality absorbing more than we give them credit for, but the reality is that it is not a two way road (yet). I am an optimist in this regard. It really boils down to whether or not we as parents make a consistent effort to actually SPEAK to each other in Urdu, and therefore with our children.
It has been noted that even in households where parents speak Urdu, the children living abroad either stop speaking their native language soon after entering preschool, KG, etc. or never felt comfortable speaking it at all. So, if your children don’t speak Urdu either because you as a parent are not using it as the first language of communication in the household, or even if you are, and your children still either cannot or refuse to, I still feel that there is good in continuing to speak.
There are a lot of theories and much evidence that while children may not speak their native language, if they are around it and hear it being spoken, their young minds may be absorbing more than you think. Language acquisition begins from birth. Many linguistic experts agree for the most part that the years from birth to before puberty is when the brain is able to absorb the most language, as well as the proper accent and more ‘native-like’ fluency and pronounciation. This is considered the ‘critical’ or the milder term, ‘optimal’ period for first and second language acquisition.
Psycholinguists and cognitive scientists have debated this ‘critical period hypothesis’ quite enthusiastically (from: ‘Cognitive Scientists on Bilingual Education’, UPI, Steve Sailer – October 27, 2000):
MIT linguist Noam Chomsky is famous for demonstrating that children are born with an innate ability to learn words and grammar. He suggests caution on the subject but pointed out, ‘There is no dispute about the fact that pre-puberty (in fact, much earlier), children have unusual facility in acquiring new languages.’
Chomsky’s younger MIT colleague, cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, [now at Harvard] author of the bestsellers ‘The Language Instinct’ and ‘How the Mind Works, states, ‘When it comes to learning a second language, the younger the better. In a large study of Chinese immigrants who entered the U.S. at different ages, those who arrived after puberty showed the worst English language skills. Still, this finding of ‘younger is better’ extended to far younger ages. People who began to learn English at six ended up on average more proficient than those who began at seven, and so on.’ As an illustration, Pinker points to the famously thick German accent of former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who arrived in America at age fourteen. In contrast, his younger brother developed a standard American accent.
Pinker’s arch-rival, Terrence W. Deacon, a biological anthropologist at Boston University and author of ‘The Symbolic Species’ replies, ‘I have to agree with Steve Pinker[on this one particular issue]that learning a language early in life can be an advantage for developing language fluency and sophistication.’
I know from personal experience, that languages in which I was immersed or were spoken to during the ‘critical period’ years, are still with me, and seem to possess the ability to speak with minimal non-native accent. I lived in Thailand until age 14 and also learned French in elementary school (as well as being exposed to French in Laos-French IndoChina- during ages 5-9). Almost 2 decades later I can still converse to some coherent degree in those languages. I learned Spanish in my mid-twenties, and many (!) years later, I can barely remember 5-10 basic sentences!
Aisha PZ is the proud mother of two beautiful children and blogs at Boundless Meanderings. This post was originally published at ATP in September 2006.
Great article. I think this is a challenege for many many people. But I think many commenters are misunderstanding teh problem. It is not about which Pakistani langauge, but about English vs. any Pakistani language.
Interesting how, for so many interactors here, the discussion involves Islam in some way, shape or form. Verily we Pakistanis are infected with the religious virus!
To Ms. Aisha PZ’s comment about how strange she found it that in Pakistan so many families don’t speak Urdu at home or to their children. My apologies but that just betrays your intense parochialism. My guess is that you’re Urdu-speaking yourself–i.e., family origin.
I know Sindhis who speak either Sindhi or English at home, and I know Pathans who speak either Pashto or English at home. Most of them avoid Urdu precisely because they object to the exalted status given to it and its use as a weapon against minority ethnic groups. Sadly, for them, most of their children seem to be gravitating towards Urdu or English as their preferred communication medium.
Urdu is the lingua franca for Pakistan but shouldn’t be accorded any status more exalted than that for those who prefer to use it as a tool rather than give it iconic status. Stick with whatever language you prefer: I prefer Urdu for poetry but English for more useful things ;-)
Shabash, Adam!
Unfortunately, many Pakistanis educated in Pakistan take pride in the fact that they can not read or write Urdu well. Pakistanis living in the West take extra measures that their children become multilingual, the preference being the European languages. For some, there seem to be insurmountable obstacles in the way when it comes to teaching the kids Urdu or the Quran for that matter,
It is unfortunately true that this nation continues with goray ki pooja, marginalizing its own language being one of the many facets of its inferiority complex.
It is absolutely essential to learn English. It is equally important to learn an promote the languages that nurture one’s physical and spiritual identity.
I have observed Turkish expats living in their third generation in European countries, who still are able to speak and read their language perfectly. This indicates to their strong nationalism.
Some Pakistanis on the other hand, having lived some years abroad, claim to have rather forgotten their native tongue (more of a wish than a result). I personally treat such people as if they were dumb.
I would also add that any language should preferably be spoken beautifully, and in Urdus case, it should not be polluted specially by mixing English words. This is a wide spread practice, and some