If, like myself, you are parents of children growing up ‘abroad,’ then we probably share a common angst if our children do not or cannot speak our native language.
Having grown up outside of Pakistan my entire life, save numerous long summers during early schooling years and then later, almost bi-annual winters during college and thereafter, I am able to converse and understand spoken Urdu. It is thanks to my parents, who spoke Urdu throughout my young formative years, and our visits to the motherland, that I am able today, to appreciate more of my rich culture because I have the ability to communicate and comprehend Urdu. My wish and hope is that my children too, are able to have this wonderful gift and opportunity. In the world we now live in, especially for our American/foreign born children, the need for them to have a strong sense of belonging and a positive self-identity in the western societies they live in, is paramount in my opinion.
As a parent of two young children, my husband & I constantly struggle with the fact that our children are not speaking Urdu. We think they understand the language in some minimal capacity, but not nearly enough to elicit proper comprehension or more far flung verbal communication. We – or rather I – think they are in reality absorbing more than we give them credit for, but the reality is that it is not a two way road (yet). I am an optimist in this regard. It really boils down to whether or not we as parents make a consistent effort to actually SPEAK to each other in Urdu, and therefore with our children.
It has been noted that even in households where parents speak Urdu, the children living abroad either stop speaking their native language soon after entering preschool, KG, etc. or never felt comfortable speaking it at all. So, if your children don’t speak Urdu either because you as a parent are not using it as the first language of communication in the household, or even if you are, and your children still either cannot or refuse to, I still feel that there is good in continuing to speak.
There are a lot of theories and much evidence that while children may not speak their native language, if they are around it and hear it being spoken, their young minds may be absorbing more than you think. Language acquisition begins from birth. Many linguistic experts agree for the most part that the years from birth to before puberty is when the brain is able to absorb the most language, as well as the proper accent and more ‘native-like’ fluency and pronounciation. This is considered the ‘critical’ or the milder term, ‘optimal’ period for first and second language acquisition.
Psycholinguists and cognitive scientists have debated this ‘critical period hypothesis’ quite enthusiastically (from: ‘Cognitive Scientists on Bilingual Education’, UPI, Steve Sailer – October 27, 2000):
MIT linguist Noam Chomsky is famous for demonstrating that children are born with an innate ability to learn words and grammar. He suggests caution on the subject but pointed out, ‘There is no dispute about the fact that pre-puberty (in fact, much earlier), children have unusual facility in acquiring new languages.’
Chomsky’s younger MIT colleague, cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, [now at Harvard] author of the bestsellers ‘The Language Instinct’ and ‘How the Mind Works, states, ‘When it comes to learning a second language, the younger the better. In a large study of Chinese immigrants who entered the U.S. at different ages, those who arrived after puberty showed the worst English language skills. Still, this finding of ‘younger is better’ extended to far younger ages. People who began to learn English at six ended up on average more proficient than those who began at seven, and so on.’ As an illustration, Pinker points to the famously thick German accent of former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who arrived in America at age fourteen. In contrast, his younger brother developed a standard American accent.
Pinker’s arch-rival, Terrence W. Deacon, a biological anthropologist at Boston University and author of ‘The Symbolic Species’ replies, ‘I have to agree with Steve Pinker[on this one particular issue]that learning a language early in life can be an advantage for developing language fluency and sophistication.’
I know from personal experience, that languages in which I was immersed or were spoken to during the ‘critical period’ years, are still with me, and seem to possess the ability to speak with minimal non-native accent. I lived in Thailand until age 14 and also learned French in elementary school (as well as being exposed to French in Laos-French IndoChina- during ages 5-9). Almost 2 decades later I can still converse to some coherent degree in those languages. I learned Spanish in my mid-twenties, and many (!) years later, I can barely remember 5-10 basic sentences!
Aisha PZ is the proud mother of two beautiful children and blogs at Boundless Meanderings. This post was originally published at ATP in September 2006.
I regret not having taught Urdu to my children beyond the basic speaking and understanding when spoken. I am afraid they will miss much quality literature, both prose and poetry of classic writers. In the same context, they will miss out on the work of Punjabi, Sindhi and Pushto sufi poets for not having learned these languages. I guess that is the cost of choices we make in choosing the societies we live in. You gain some and you lose some.
Learning a Pakistani language (Urdu, Pushto, Punjabi, etc) is a great recommendation. However, the two media recommended for attaining fluency need consideration. Watching Hindi movies or Paki dramas also trnasfer the cultural norms of the place. Similarly spending summers in Pakistan also instill the habits and outlook of life of an average Pakistani. I am talking about the hypocritical behavior and devious ways. You also learn how to take and give bribes.
I think some people are just being unduly harsh. Most people DO try to teach their children Urdu and their local languages when they live abroad. Maybe even more than when they live in Pakistan. But as the article says, it is not easy because the surrounding is not condusive.
I know dozens of people who get Pakistan television on satellite simply so that their children can learn urdu. But then they find that even there we have this crazy mix of langages spoken which s certainly not good Urdu either.
Thanks Aisha, for a topic very close to my heart.
I have done a few observations in my life and I can safely say that majority Pakistani’s are ashamed of their language.
In the corporate world I have seen French people talk french, Iranians talking Farsi, Arabs talking Arabi but Pakistani’s talking English to their countrymen.
People who are not proud of their culture mainly due to economic conditions back home tend to have a sense of inferiority complex.
I have seen parents who speak English with a deep accent talk in English to their kids as if to improve their own English.
I make it a point to speak in urdu to my kid at all times.
Indian movies have become the source of urdu. Thank GOD for Indian movies!!!
I have met a number of adults in United States who are sorry that their parents/ grandparents never taught them their native language. Two examples come to mind; a lady whose mother came from Spain, but never talked to her kids in Spanish because she herself wanted to learn English and another gentleman, three out of whose four grandparents were Swedish, would converse with each other in Swedish but never thought to teach it to their grandkids. Both of these people, like Adam, would have been thankful if they had learned these languages.