Custom Search

How the world sees the India-Pakistan conflict

Posted on June 29, 2006
Filed Under Foreign Relations, Humor
3 Comments
Total Views: 77446

Share

The Onion is a satirical parody ‘newspaper’ which is published in print and on the Internet that reports both real and imagined stories and makes fun of the earnestness of the mainstream news-media, the gullibility of its readers, and the general state of the world we live in. However, as with all satire, it tends to pack some hard-hitting truths in its imagined coverage of events.

Below is one hillarious example of The Onion’s craft. It is fictitious only in that these people probably are not real and never said this; at least not out loud. But the way they view and interpret the India-Pakistan conflict (here) is really not that far from how much of the world actually sees it. Of course, this particular piece is some years old, when tensions were higher than they are now; however, the international attitudes it depicts are timeless.

Enjoy. Smile. And, then, think hard.

DEPARTMENT OF NATURAL RESOURCES AND ENVIRONMENTAL CONTROL FISH AND WILDLIFE BIOLOGISTS, MERR INSTITUTE VOLUNTEERS PARTNER TO RESCUE SEA TURTLE EGGS

US Fed News Service, Including US State News October 8, 2011 LEWES, Del., Oct. 7 — Delaware Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Control issued the following news release:

A clutch of nearly 190 eggs laid by an endangered green sea turtle on the beach at Cape Henlopen State Park in late August was successfully moved on Oct. 5 to a climate-controlled room at the University of Delaware’s College of Earth, Ocean, and Environment. The move marks the latest in a series of actions to help the nesting – the first of its kind recorded in Delaware – and ensure the safety of the eggs. greenseaturtlenow.com green sea turtle

“Sea turtles usually lay their eggs on beaches in warmer climates, and the sand temperature was getting too low for them to survive,” said DNREC Biologist Edna Stetzar, who was part of the team that painstakingly excavated and moved the eggs.

DNREC Division of Fish and Wildlife staff joined a group of 15 volunteers from MERR (the Marine Education, Research and Rehabilitation Institute), and spent more than an hour moving the ping-pong-ball-sized white eggs one by one into specially-prepared 22-quart styrofoam boxes. With a Fish and Wildlife Enforcement escort, the eggs were transported by car – very slowly, so as not to jostle their precious contents – to the nearby University of Delaware campus. In the climate-controlled chamber, under the watchful eyes of MERR volunteers, temperatures were gradually raised by 2 degrees every three hours with the goal of reaching optimal hatching temperature of about 80 degrees.

“These eggs have had a lot of obstacles,” said MERR Executive Director Suzanne Thurman, who led the MERR team in the delicate move. “But this is a big step in helping them survive.” Since the nest’s discovery by a Delaware State Parks ranger who observed the green sea turtle mother laying the eggs near a jetty on Aug. 18, high tides, predators, hurricanes and tropical storms have threatened its survival. The nest was first protected from the encroaching tide by moving it to higher ground, and then protected from predators by erecting an enclosure around the site and posting 24 hour guard. A week after the first move, Hurricane Irene deposited a heavy14-inch layer of sand on top of the nest. After being carefully excavated by hand from the effects of Irene, volunteers were faced with the same task after Tropical Storm Lee. website green sea turtle

The green sea turtle is protected by Delaware’s endangered species regulations as well as federally protected as a threatened species. As a result, any dealings must pass though strict regulations. “Since the nest was laid, we have been working closely with the U.

S. Fish and Wildlife Service’s Florida office and with North Carolina Wildlife Resources Commission biologist Matthew Godfrey, who has experience with nesting,” Stetzar said. A special temperature module sent from North Carolina was buried in the sand at the same depth as the eggs, and helped make the determination that the eggs would have to be removed from the beach to have a chance of hatching, she said.

“We have such a devoted volunteer base, who at times stayed overnight to keep tabs on them. But it was still not the best conditions for them,” Thurman said.

After the U.

S. Fish and Wildlife Service granted permission to remove the eggs and incubate them, the Dean and faculty of the UD College of Marine Science and Policy gave permission to use their Lewes facility to incubate them. “We could not have done any of this without their incredible generosity,” Thurman said. Many individuals and organizations also have helped with this endeavor, including Delaware State Parks, the Greene Turtle restaurant and sports bar, and members of the public, she added.

The eggs are continuing to be closely monitored by MERR volunteers, and could possibly hatch by late October or early November. Depending on if and when they do, a plan will be executed to transport the hatchlings to the ocean and get them on their way into the Gulf Stream.

“Water temperatures will be a big factor in where they can be safely released, so we’ll just have to see what the conditions are like if we have a hatch,” Stetzar said.

“A lot of people care very much about these little sea turtles, so we’ll keep hoping for the best,” said Thurman. For any query with respect to this article or any other content requirement, please contact Editor at htsyndication@hindustantimes.com Joanna Wilson, 302/739-9902; Rob Rector, 302/930-5925.

Related Posts with Thumbnails

3 comments posted

  1. June 29th, 2006 6:47 pm

    I love the comment from the Systems Analyst that Hindus can look forward to reincrnation, and muslims get an eternity of honeyfigs on dying anyways – so why be afraid of the nuclear war!
    Sometimes I get the same feeling from friends and family when talking to them about the conflict. Either that, or they believe the two parties are too buzdil (timid?) to actually engage in a nuclear war.

  2. June 30th, 2006 12:41 am

    Big fan of “The Onion” !!! I did miss this article….it is really funny…especially the one from the Delivery driver…USA USA USA

  3. January 25th, 2010 9:10 pm

    I wish Pakistan and India never fought, they’re neighbors and should at least attempt to get along…



Have Your Say (Bol, magar piyar say)

Please respect the ATP Comment Policy.

Keep comments on topic; no personal attacks; don't submit indecent, inflammatory, slanderous, uncivil or irrelevant comments; flamers and trolls are not welcome; inappropriate comments will be removed or edited.

If you won't say it to someone's face, then don't say it here!

Readers who want to use a URL should please use the TINY URL program.

Thanks, and keep the comments coming!