by Qandeel Shaam
What is patriotism but the love of the food one had as a child – Lin Yutang
There are many questions I struggle to solve – for instance, does the soul weigh 28 grams, why 72 virgins and why not just 1? Is Lichtenstein a country? Why do the Brits call private schools ‘public’, why is the green tea pink? How does Kamran Khan always manage to look like a very sad and cynical koala bear?
But there is one question that has persistently sat like a shrapnel in my mind: What does it mean to be Pakistani, what is Pakistaniat?
I’ve yo-yoed between Pakistan and Europe all my life, and with the passage of time this question has come to mystify me more and more. Moments of reflection over what your national identity is, and what it means, usually occur when you’re not in your home country. Maybe it has something to do with being labelled a “Pakistani” or feeling like an outsider, but living in the West can really intensify one’s ethnical awareness. This often results in an exaggerated sense of national identity where you see Pakistanis in the West acting more Pakistani-like than those living in Pakistan! For a brief time I was also overcome with a disposition to jingo, but then I moved to Pakistan….
Now you have to understand: for a Pakistani to move back to Pakistan after having proudly performed a stint of patriotism in the West can be quite a shocking experience. Whatever you thought was Pakistani can very quickly evaporate into the coiling miasma of confusion that shrouds our country. The contretemps first jolts and then disillusions you, because you slowly come to the realization that Pakistan is positively mired in an identity crisis.
You have the Western-wannabe’s and the religious extremist-wannabe’s. An extant grey zone that falls in between is either too small or too muted to buffer these two extremes. The Western-wannabe’s are primarily concerned with being liberal without embracing liberalism: for example, aunties who mull for hours when deciding just how deep they should let their plunging necklines plunge before it starts to look too inappropriate for a charity fundraising event to help emancipate the poor. The same aunties are also dedicated to ensuring that the only ‘liberty’ their maids ever see is a market in Lahore.
On the other hand you have the religious extremist-wannabe’s. Their narrow, retrograde interpretation of Islam creates new lines – and intensifies old ones – of demarcation based on belief, sect, creed, even beard length (!). It preaches Islamic unity but is practiced on the paradoxical premise that intolerance (even violence) against people with differing isms is condonable.
Western- and religious extremist-wannabes have their own sets of insecurities and prejudices and view everyone through such a discriminatory prism. These groups and the forces they exert deserves exclusive attention, but for the purposes of this article it is suffice to say that the dichotomy of Westernism and religious extremism in Pakistan has caused more friction between Pakistanis, propelling the drift away from a core Pakistaniat, a sense of oneness.
So when I moved back to Pakistan I found that oneness to be lacking; after years of living up to the facade of a “Pakistani” in the West I found Pakistan itself to be devoid of any such identity. I think that generally speaking Pakistanis have always had a clique mentality, but it’s augmented and intensified. So you see now multiple little groups all bopping their heads against one another.
And yet we speak of being Pakistani and Pakistaniat. We don’t just speak of it we feel it as well. When I am in Europe I again feel Pakistani. How can we feel something that doesn’t really exist?
The article opened with a quote from the Chinese writer Ling Yutang,
“What is patriotism but the love of the food one had as a child”
. I interpret this as memories of our childhood and the nostalgia they bring, and how it’s from these memories and nostalgia that there emanates a sense of self identity. So if I’m in Europe and eating samosa chaat or listening to a Pakistani song or qawali that was popular in my youth, it will almost always invoke a warm feeling of nostalgia that reminds me of where I come from. I’m not sure whether I should consider it a tragedy that the only vestiges left of the Pakistaniat I used to feel and know have become hazy reminisces, or whether I should feel glad that the feeling is not lost all together.
Photo Credits: Photos for this post are taken from flickr.com
What has happened in Karachi is a despicable atrocity. It is cruel joke to the bereaved to say to them that “may those perpetrated it burn in hell”.
I can’t say if it was a “set up”, but a “screw up” it certainly was; a mindless and callous screw up.
Just think about it; I know that someone is thirsting for my blood. What is the first thing I do? Why, I call them names, let them know that I (along with my masters, if necessary) chase them to the ends of the earth, and do my best to provoke them. I demand “fool proof” security (mind you, for all my bravado I am no Raziq Bugti) and, with Americans breathing down the govt’s neck, am provided vehicle with a rocket proof container.
“rind kE rind rahE hAth se jannat na ga’ee”
Of course, I refuse transportation by helicopter which would immensely simplify the task of the hapless security personnel. Never mind that it would be snail paced journey lasting well into the night which, if anything, could compound the security nightmare. Why should it matter? The awam adores me; I can’t disappoint them, even if only to spare their lives?
Nope! Secure in my rocket proof container, I do everything to make sure that my “Aa bael mujhe maar” invitation to take a shot at me is made as tempting a prospect as possible.
Of course the perpetrators, the despicable bloodthirsty animals that they are, take the bait and strike.
Hundreds of dead and injured is small change. I shall glorify them and call them martyrs. I shall visit the widows and orphaned children, the distraught parents and siblings, shed tears with them, get pictures taken while seen to be consoling them. I shall also, should my speech writers suggest it, denounce the govt for failing to provide security for the ordinary poor Pakistani.
Compensating the bereaved would be the job of the govt . I’ll think of more ways of scoring political points tomorrow. Good night!
Salamalikum,
With all due respect, Akif, I don’t set my principles and views based on popularity and that who thinks I’m “one of the good ones” on this blog. And, this was no preemptive attack. I came to read the comments on Lost Pakistaniat, saw Minai’s comments, checked out Jang and wrote what I felt. I don’t go by the line of thought that “oh, before somebody blames someone else let me throw mud at a different direction hoping for some of it to stick”. I might be wrong but this is the shewa of others on this blog.
This is a somber moment and it’s somber every day in Pakistan. Let it go…I don’t want to argue this. I shared my views, and your view is that you’re sure of who the “obvious” perpetrators are. I will admit that nobody can’t be sure who did it…it’s not obvious. And, that it is possible that PPP itself is not involved but I’ve my doubts. Allahu Alam
Ibrahim, I usually have a lot of respect for your views but this is the most dispicable comment you have ever posted on this blog. Before anyone could point the finger at the obvious perpetrators of this atrocity - fanatical mullahs opposed to women leaders - the very same people who said that they would blow away Benazir, you attempted to preempt the accusation by suggesting that she got her own supporters killed to gain popularity ? What an outrage ! And I thought you were one of the good ones.
I am not a Benazir supporter at all but my blood is boiling at this turn of events. This is war if there ever was one ! And there is going to not one word said against the animals from Waziristan by the entire opposition and the religious establishment.
Dewana.. if you are not follower of Islam then it does not give you freedom to mock it. Kindly show sign of maturity rather reflecting what your nick says. Thankyou
Death toll is over a hundred and likely to grow. Way too depressing for words.
“This is all a set updone for political gains and to show the world how brave she is and the rise of extremism, and this will be used to justify going after those responsible for this act.”
How can you be sure that this is a setup? This could very well be our regular day to day madrassa inspired suicide bombing. Why not assume the usual.if one must assume?
Pakistani is about questioning yourself why everything happens and recieving “idhar aisay hi hota hai” response.
Its about being holier than thou.
It is about talking and not doing
It is about trying to find an identity when ignoring the one you know you already have
It is about that cricket world cup victory being the only thing we can all agree on
Inna lilillahi wa inna ilayhir-rajioon…may Allah forgive the dead and enter them in Jannat. Again, the poor got the short end of the stick, but their reward will be with Allah inshaAllah. This is all a set up…done for political gains and to show the world how brave she is and the “rise of extremism”, and this will be used to justify going after those “responsible for this act”.