Adil Najam
Sometimes one is left completely speechless. And I was upon seeing this picture in the Daily Times (21 April) of a man beating his wife as their son looks on.
But the real story here is about a society that chooses to loose its speech and prefers to remain silent in the face of a wide scale menace of acute domestic violence and spousal (and familial) abuse of women.
This is not something that is restricted only to the poorest classes. Although it is often hidden behind ‘sufaid poshi’ such violence against women is more common in our society than most of us would care to accept. Remember, for example, the case of former Pakistan cricket captain Moin Khan who was taken in custody after beating his wife while drunk.
I wonder what the child in this photograph will grow up thinking. I wonder how many children have grown up witnessing such scenes. I wonder what such emotional scars have done to them.
It is indeed true that such incidents of violence happen all over the world. There is no evidence at all that they happen more in Pakistan than elsewhere. In terms of reported cases they may be even less. But that is not the point. This is not a competition.
Saying that it happens everywhere or that it happens even more in other places is neither an excuse nor a consolation. One case would, in my opinion, be one too many. And there are clearly much more than one. As Pakistanis – no, as human beings – we must speak against such violence everywhere; but, first within our own society.
Saas ney bahuu ko sohar k saath mil kar tail chirak kar aag lagadi
Saas ne bahu ko gher se nikal dia
Biwi ne beemar saas ko ghar se nikalwadia
Here both saas and bahu are women. I have been reading such news since childhood and find them more than any other domestiv violence news.
Now I would like to know that whether Ms.Tina consider these examples a part of DV or not or she would again blame MEN[husbands only]. Somebody has said right, Aurat he aurat k dushman hey
Jabir, if you knew anything about Mai, you would know that she has gone far out of her way to avoid keeping any money, just because of the criticisms of people like you. She has purchased a car and cell phone, which she needs for her charity work. That’s it. She has no new house. She hasn’t left her village. She has, as she says, not even one ring on her finger as profit. Please confirm your facts before condemning. She possibly did not disassociate herself enough from the NGOs and the harpies at Glamour magazine, but what did she know about that? She speaks not one word of English and requires an interpreter all the time. You are requiring a sophistication from her which she does not have. She wanted to speak out and she did. I am not her most ardent defender on this earth but who among us would make 100% correct decisions under the circumstances. She is an illiterate villager who struggled against her fate. It saddens me to hear that a top ranking military officer in Islamabad called her a whore in front a laughing party of wealthy upper class women.
You talk often about thinking out of the box, but you seem unable to even contemplate a thought process outside of a few narrow talking points which are easily refuted (and also old and hoary). Mukhtaran Mai’s case got reported–tens of thousands of others don’t, you have fallen far short of proving some kind of anti-Pakistani conspiracy on the part of the media. Worse to me is that you include Adil and ATP in the said conspiracy. Because of this, it’s clear to me that it’s not just that you don’t want foreigners talking about it–you don’t want it talked about, period!
For example, you start harping on statistics in the U.S., again—please read Adil’s own words in which he attempted, in vain, it looks like, to forestall this very debate:
It is indeed true that such incidents of violence happen all over the world. There is no evidence at all that they happen more in Pakistan than elsewhere. In terms of reported cases they may be even less. But that is not the point. This is not a competition.
Saying that it happens everywhere or that it happens even more in other places is neither an excuse nor a consolation. One case would, in my opinion, be one too many. And there are clearly much more than one. As Pakistanis – no, as human beings – we must speak against such violence everywhere; but, first within our own society
enough said!
I agree 1000% with “fed up”. People who call this sort of thing “spicy”…well, I don’t pity them, “fed up”, if you can, that’s better I suppose.
Surprising and sad the deliberate blindness and the level of denial on this thread. Ibrahim posits that the man isn’t abusing his wife but maybe picking her up after falling!
Right, Ibrahim, sure, okay. Whatever you say. I’ll back out of the room slowly now. And Adnan, shame on you for clinging so this attempt at deflection so quickly.
Shall we discuss the pathetic conditions this family is living in? Can you even see what is around them?
Shall we discuss who is responsible for their economic misery that has not been solved in the last 60 years?
Shall we discuss 200 suicides per month taking place in our country that has a supposedly ‘brimming’ treausry?
All I can say is most of the DV in our society results from economic despair and a bleak future outlook.
A person who is unable to feed his family and unable to fight the social and economic unjustices brought upon him by liberal ‘trickle down economy’ adovates………….And still he is supposed to behave rationally?
Go and ask him what is the cause of his anger and he will grab you by your white collar and let you know on the spot. Provided ‘sahib’ let him dirty up his expensive shirt in the first place.
Fedup, it seems you have fedup of your life. Chill dude and hold your horses & read again! All i said spicy news[giving the caption “Domestic Violence”] not the Image. Nobody here backing domestic violence but yes this pic is not the proper witness whether the women is being beaten up or being supported after falling down. Don’t bring your haterd everywhere to show your utter ignorance.
All I can say is that anyone who thinks that an image of a man beating his wife is “spicy” deserves our collective pity!
Interesting that people who have no histance calling someone a whore just because some people (who knows men or women) inside a shutlecock says that she is so, those same people now doubt an actual picture in a respected newspaper and want ‘verification’ before that NEWS photo (not opinion essay) is repeated. They worry about thier ‘image’ in the West but can’t even shed a single tear for a poor woman being thrashed in front of her own children!
These, I guess are the people this post is about: SILENT AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!