Adil Najam
Sometimes one is left completely speechless. And I was upon seeing this picture in the Daily Times (21 April) of a man beating his wife as their son looks on.
But the real story here is about a society that chooses to loose its speech and prefers to remain silent in the face of a wide scale menace of acute domestic violence and spousal (and familial) abuse of women.
This is not something that is restricted only to the poorest classes. Although it is often hidden behind ’sufaid poshi’ such violence against women is more common in our society than most of us would care to accept. Remember, for example, the case of former Pakistan cricket captain Moin Khan who was taken in custody after beating his wife while drunk.
I wonder what the child in this photograph will grow up thinking. I wonder how many children have grown up witnessing such scenes. I wonder what such emotional scars have done to them.
It is indeed true that such incidents of violence happen all over the world. There is no evidence at all that they happen more in Pakistan than elsewhere. In terms of reported cases they may be even less. But that is not the point. This is not a competition.
Saying that it happens everywhere or that it happens even more in other places is neither an excuse nor a consolation. One case would, in my opinion, be one too many. And there are clearly much more than one. As Pakistanis - no, as human beings - we must speak against such violence everywhere; but, first within our own society.
Akif, I have many relatives and friends and I can say it does not exist at the level as you might want to imagine. So the question, is DV a major problem in your family?
And people who live in countries like USA where 200000 rapes are committed per year have the audacity to point a finger at us, while all relying on third rate data provided by obfuscating quick buck mass media.
Jabir, in my opinion, DV is a product of having a society where women do not have any power, social or economic and they are perpetually in a dependent situation with regards to other men. The social norms does not allow her to exist without being tied to a “strong” man who can look after her needs. By implication, this attitude causes her to believe that she is weak and to accept his strength with all the “bads” that come with it, including DV.
Adnan, I do read Pakistani papers, and they report violence against women at the hands of men every day, never the other way around, in fact I asked to discuss this in terms of Dawn and other papers and you ignored what I wrote.
Today April 24 ONLY, as per Dawn:
*Policeman Guns Down Two Women (one of them 60 years old, they were his relatives. He escaped)
*15 Year Old Girl Gang Raped for Days
*Woman and her four children shot
*Karo-Kari family ordered by jirga to surrender their two young daughters to their accusers as punishment
*Family Planning Clinic Bombed and nearby houses damaged
You say I don’t read the newspapers but I think it’s you who don’t. Where are the women perpetrators here?
Women are not doing this. To try to turn the tables over on them is really a very low ploy on your part. You have nothing else so you keep saying this. Please stop. Your stubborn blindness is a discredit to your country.
Atif Abdul Sahab, Saas k sau[100] din puray houn tu ek din Bahu ka ata hay (Source: Pakistani movie “Ek din Bahu ka”) :-).
It seems you are die hard fan of that lame soap Saas bahu…
Tina, if you follow the policy of closing eyes like pigeon or a feminist than it’s useless to argue with your further. Whatever I said was on basis of news I read in papers.If you are not used to read local papers then do make efforts to read Pakistani papers. I am not here to change your mind or someone else about what’s happening in surrounding. Do believe whatever you want as it’s not making any difference nor changing the fact. The topic was Domestic violence and blaming MEN ONLY for such violence which I disagree.
Yes Akif I see a problem,
I see an economically tattered family living in a Pakistan mismanaged by corrupt liberal extremist goons. Now do you see the same thing? or do you see an illetrate person beating his wife for fun?
Come on people now….please move on….there is nothing to see here……don’t create a scene…. Jabir and Adnaan tell us there is no problem, so there must not be one.
She possibly did not disassociate herself enough from the NGOs and the harpies at Glamour magazine, but what did she know about that?
Not possibly, she definitely did not disassociate herself from them.
Her case was in the court still she acted to grab the opportunity to defame her country. Can you say it was a right decision? Can you say her lawyers didn’t warn her that this will hurt her case in court? Carry on thinking like that, weather looks lovely in your neverland.
you have fallen far short of proving some kind of anti-Pakistani conspiracy on the part of the media.
bibi for God sake if last 7 years are not enough to prove it is going on then what can make you believe is beyond anyone’s comprehension.
Worse to me is that you include Adil and ATP in the said conspiracy.
REALLY? Do ask them before becoming their spokesperson for free.