Adil Najam
Sometimes one is left completely speechless. And I was upon seeing this picture in the Daily Times (21 April) of a man beating his wife as their son looks on.
But the real story here is about a society that chooses to loose its speech and prefers to remain silent in the face of a wide scale menace of acute domestic violence and spousal (and familial) abuse of women.
This is not something that is restricted only to the poorest classes. Although it is often hidden behind ’sufaid poshi’ such violence against women is more common in our society than most of us would care to accept. Remember, for example, the case of former Pakistan cricket captain Moin Khan who was taken in custody after beating his wife while drunk.
I wonder what the child in this photograph will grow up thinking. I wonder how many children have grown up witnessing such scenes. I wonder what such emotional scars have done to them.
It is indeed true that such incidents of violence happen all over the world. There is no evidence at all that they happen more in Pakistan than elsewhere. In terms of reported cases they may be even less. But that is not the point. This is not a competition.
Saying that it happens everywhere or that it happens even more in other places is neither an excuse nor a consolation. One case would, in my opinion, be one too many. And there are clearly much more than one. As Pakistanis - no, as human beings - we must speak against such violence everywhere; but, first within our own society.
MQ my figures are ‘conservative’ and I used them deliberately so as avoid being in the same league as those who blow everything out of proportion. Second underreporting of rapes is major problem in the west, kindly do not deny it. Not many cases make it to the courts.
Third, try to follow me, I am not saying we don’t have problems but we shall not let some dollar hungry liberal goon NGOs hijack these issues. In nearly all the famous cases this is what happened in the end. so doodh ka jalaa chaach bhi phoonk mar kar peeta hai.
Akif I was going to say something but ‘observing’ your last post does not leave much.
Jabir: I see an illiterate person beating his wife to let off steam, because he can.
There must be a cause of his steam, I wonder what? and why is he illiterate, hmmmm dunno oh I am lost.
I wonder how we all look under the microscope of the ATP mods who r trying to study us and bewildered kay hum lartay kion rahtay hain, kuch kartay kion nahi.
Kiyon, larna khood say kaam nahi hai kiya?
Tina, Adnan is right, you need to take off the feminist glasses and put on a blindfold, preferably pink in color. That’s how we got to the exalted place we enjoy today.
You really need to make the distinction between DV and “women abuse”. Domestic violence is an all emcompassing terms which includes, among other things, kicking your cat, hitting your donkey, punching the wall, cursing at the TV, screaming at domestic servants etc. Battering one’s wife is just a very very small subset of DV, too insignificant to be worth discussing really. I’m afraid you are being very biased in picking and choosing the news items that you quoted. I mean, as Adnan pointed out, newspapers are full of instances where grown men are beaten to a pulp by their octagenarian fathers, aren’t they? Or fights among brothers, I mean, aren’t all these essentially the same?
Atif sahab that was a seriously unintentional mistake and I apologize you for that. I had forgot about it while I was replying you. Surely, Adbdul doesn’t exist without his Rahman. Very well said.
now i find it resembling this thread.
:-). Who’s tulsi here?:D
I wonder how we all look under the microscope of the ATP mods who r trying to study us and bewildered kay hum lartay kion rahtay hain, kuch kartay kion nahi.
Same like Pakistani politicians look under the microscope of dictator Musharraf :-). Her dafa naya sosha chorna aur phir usper la-hasil behas ka mazay karna :-). Sorry ATP mgmt, I am just kidding! well, I am half kidding *grin*
Tina bibi, if you remove the spectacles of feminism then you would be able to figure out what I am trying to say. The headlines you mentioned are part of WOMEN ABUSE for sure but not Domestic violence. I wish God would have given enough wisdom to make difference between two. DV doesn’t mean Women ABUSE only even men become victim of domestic violence by their fathers,brothers. Since you have started personal attack which I see as a Domestic violence against me on this forum therefore I would prefer to walk out. It’s not fun to fight with an unarmed person. Have fun and sweet dreams.
[quote comment=”44698″]Atif Abdul Sahab, Saas k sau[100] din puray houn tu ek din Bahu ka ata hay (Source: Pakistani movie “Ek din Bahu ka”) :-).
It seems you are die hard fan of that lame soap Saas bahu… :-)[/quote]
The name is Atif Abdul-Rahman, Abdul does not exist without his Rahman. I am sure u made a typo and it wasn’t deliberate.
btw, i hate that show and now i find it resembling this thread.
useless to talk here anymore, we do blah blah blah here all day long.
I wonder how we all look under the microscope of the ATP mods who r trying to study us and bewildered kay hum lartay kion rahtay hain, kuch kartay kion nahi.
Ab please readers, mujh per gussa mut nikalna. Bohat hogia DV.
Jabir, since DV overwhelmingly happens behind closed doors, it’s not a phenomenon that’s readily visible, nor is it something that is discussed for most part. I don’t know how old or how observant you are, but I bet if you go to your mother and ask her if she knows of any such occurances within your immediate or extended family, she might just surprise you. And yes, I do know several women in my extended family and acquaintances who have suffered from such treatment and stuck by their “man” without complain.
Jabir,
Your figures are wrong. The number of rapes in the US is much higher. But that cannot be used as an excuse to justify domestic violence in Pakistan. Another point that has made several times on this and other posts is that in the US, Europe or other civilized countries, once a case of rape or DV is reported to the police, the law takes its course and usually the perpetrators are punished under the law. That does not happen in Pakistan. In fact, in Pakistan, such crimes are often condoned in the name of honor or other medieval social values. Why? That is the point you should focus your attention on, rather than quoting irrelevant and incorrect statistics and muddying the discussion.
Jabir: I see an illiterate person beating his wife to let off steam, because he can.