Adil Najam
Sometimes one is left completely speechless. And I was upon seeing this picture in the Daily Times (21 April) of a man beating his wife as their son looks on.
But the real story here is about a society that chooses to loose its speech and prefers to remain silent in the face of a wide scale menace of acute domestic violence and spousal (and familial) abuse of women.
This is not something that is restricted only to the poorest classes. Although it is often hidden behind ‘sufaid poshi’ such violence against women is more common in our society than most of us would care to accept. Remember, for example, the case of former Pakistan cricket captain Moin Khan who was taken in custody after beating his wife while drunk.
I wonder what the child in this photograph will grow up thinking. I wonder how many children have grown up witnessing such scenes. I wonder what such emotional scars have done to them.
It is indeed true that such incidents of violence happen all over the world. There is no evidence at all that they happen more in Pakistan than elsewhere. In terms of reported cases they may be even less. But that is not the point. This is not a competition.
Saying that it happens everywhere or that it happens even more in other places is neither an excuse nor a consolation. One case would, in my opinion, be one too many. And there are clearly much more than one. As Pakistanis – no, as human beings – we must speak against such violence everywhere; but, first within our own society.
Saying an empty stomach is capable of thinking rationaly and calmly is nonsense.
Many of our well to do ‘educated’ class nealry go mad at the end of only one day of fasting in Ramadan. And still they wonder why the poor is killing his family and and himself?
DV is widespread and it is fair to say that it is universal but must be condemned. Working with the food bank alone I was surprised at the magnitude of DV and violence against women in the US. On campus, we get yearly reminder of what needs to be reported and how to handle a situation where signs of abuse are visible on studetns.
However, there is still a big difference and that is once DV is discoverd, law comes to the full rescue and/or rehabilitation of the victim and criminal penalties are imposed on the perpetrator. Also there are several civic organizations lending support to the victims and public service announcements in the print media and TV try to make public aware of it.
For poor countries, lack of resources and absence of laws specific to abuse make life harder for the victims. Apathy also plays a dominant role and in some cases cultural acceptance of abuse adds to the cruelty.
DV perhaps cannot be eliminated fully but with citizens participation in support groups, poverty reduction, and education, this menace can be minimized.
[quote]Right, Ibrahim, sure, okay. Whatever you say. I’ll back out of the room slowly now. [/quote]
Yes Tina MADAME, Ibrahim bohat sharaartain kar raha hai, iss ko class say bahir nikaaldain…
@Adnan: Dont be so judgmental about Saas-Bahu relations, after all ‘Saas bhi kabhi bahoo thee….’, lets not make this thread a never ending drama.
Making excuses that this is really about poverty and so on is nonsense just like trying to turn it into a wman-on-woman thing. The post is right THIS HAPPENS EVERYWHER AND IN ALL ECONOMIC CLASSES. We need to speak up against it everywhere. Sme time back there was a post right here on ATP about Moin Khan beating his wife. He is neither poor nor very religious. The real problem IS the one this post identifies. Too many of us (as the comments show) would ratehr remain silent about domestic violence. Unless we accept what is wrong we will never even get started on trying to solve it.
The denigration by foreigners (particularly Westerners) may be a real fear, but it is one Pakistan needs to overcome to take care of this problem internally. We all know that western media will take one incident and blow it into an indictment of the entire country anyway, so its really not an issue to worry about.
The issue is that dv and the even worse honor killings and rape are somewhat acceptable is shocking and problematic. Until DV is prosecuted, made socially unacceptable, and embarrassing it will continue. This isn’t a religious issue, but it is a cultural one, and not limited to the poor. DV seems to be rampant in all aspects of the society and good on ATP for bringing the issue into the light.