Adil Najam
The legendary PTV (Pakistan Television) comedy skit-show from the 1980’s Fifty-Fifty may well be the greatest (one of the greatest?) PTV shows ever. Based loosely on US comedy show Saturday Night Live, it was a revolutionary concept and literally ruled the airwaves like very few shows ever have, before or since.
This is my continuing testimony to the brilliance of Shoaib Mansoor, but in this case it was also the writing excellence of Anwar Maqsood and the versitality of the acting trio Ismail Tara, Majid Jehangir and Zeba Shahnaz which made this show a must-see every week. Here is a short clip from the show. Enjoy!
Click twice on arrow at center, or view it directly here.
02:51
See more video clips from Fifty-Fifty here.
I was watching fifty-fifty recently (probably for the
thousandth time) and this skit made me laugh my guts
out :)
The joke was about Pakistani taxi drivers (equally
apllicable to Rickshaw drivers also) who don’t take
passengers if the route or fare is not of their
choice. In such case they usually say:
“O’ gaaRi khali nahiN hai” :)
In this 50-50 skit Majid Jehangir, acting as the
‘Taxi/Rickshaw Driver’ is shown living in a single
room annexe’ with 6 children and a shuttle-cork burqa
claded wife.
All 6 children are then shown shouting:
” Abbu! Abbu! hameN chiRya ghar le kar chaleN ! ”
After some thinking, Majid agrees to take his family
to the Karachi’s zoological gardens.
This makes all the children very excited. The eldest
kid who is shown almost 25 year old is shown wearing
knickers with gallaces and playing with his 2 year old
sister is the most excited. He starts clapping and
shouting:
“ahaa-ji (clap clap) hum chiRya ghar jaayeN ge
(clap-clap)”
Whole family starts getting ready. Majid Jehangir is
shown very happy and holds his youngest boy in lap and
playfully slapping his child’s cheeks says:
” mera ‘munna’ chiRya ghar jaaye ga…. hathi dekhay
ga…. bhaaloo dekhay ga …. sher dekhay ga
….kooochi kooochi koo”
The family after getting ready, starts going out when
Majid’s wife tells him:
” dekho ji, darwaazay ko achi tarah taala lagaana. aaj
kal buhat choriaaN ho rahi haiN ”
Majid snaps back :
” O jab tum sub log (a wife & 6 children) meray saath
ho to peechay is quarter meiN chori honay ke liyay reh
kiya gaya hai ” :)
Outside, Majid smilingly removes the terpauline cover
from his shining taxi while merrily talking to his
youngest kid all this while.
Then as soon as he sits on the driver’s seat of his
taxi, all his smile vanishes. He suddenly becomes very
stern face and doesn’t seem to recognize his own
family.
He then shouts at his own wife:
” O gaaRi khali nahiN hai ”
The family which was ready for the zoo becomes so
confused that their husband/father is not even
recognising them. The wife shouts back:
” meiN poochti hooN, aakhir tumheN ye Taxi meiN
beTh-te hi kiya ho jata hai ?? ”
Majid replies to his wife :
” O Maaai, mera sar na khao. bola na! Gaari khali
nahiN hai. chiRya ghar se wapis khaali aana paRta hai”
The rest of the family is then shown doing some
consultations and then Majid’s eldest son (atleast 25
year old) tells him:
” suneN bhai sahab ! Meter se 5 rupees ziyada le lena
”
At this Majid thinks for a bit, itches the back of his
ear for few seconds and then says:
” theek hai ! aao beTho ”
The whole family starts clapping and shouting again:
” hum chiRya ghar jaayeN ge… hum chiRya ghar jaayeN
ge…. (fading sounds)
:)
End
Aakhir kitnay aur Dramay ?
Ashfaq Ahmed is one of the greatest Urdu drama writer But when televised, his dramas somehow turned out to be notoriously slow and philosphical. Fifty Fifty used to make fun of him occasionaly. His drama series ‘aur dramay’ was ridiculed by 50-50 as ‘aakhir kitnay aur dramay ?’ :) :)
Another gem from the evergreen Fifty-Fifty :)
Once there was a skit on Pakistan Railway’s emergency
brakes which I still remember :)
A family of 4 is shown travelling in a 2nd class
compartment.
Ismail Tara and Zeba Shahnaz (shown as a baa-parda
khatoon) are shown as husband and wife travelling with their
two sons. One was a 25 year old (Nazir Junior) wearing
shorts and gallaces, and other was a 5 year old boy.
The younger son is shown beating and slapping his 20
year older brother :) at which older son complains to
father:
“abba ab hum nahiN khel rahay. Munna maarta hai” :)
At this, the father looks around the compartment and
tells his elder son to go and play with the train’s
emergency brake lever.
The elder son obliges and leans his weight on
emergency brake lever as if taking swings and tells
his father:
‘abba abba! hameN buhat maza aa raha hai”
Of course the train stops suddenly and the guard comes
to compartment and asks why the emergency chain was
pulled.
As Zeba Shahnaz looks towards the guard, Ismail Tara
tells the guard:
‘ ek minute’ and then tucks his wife’s face behind the
‘parda’ and moves her face away.
Then Ismail Tara tells the guard that his son was
playing with the brakes and he is now willing to pay
the fine.
The guard (Majid Jehangir) asks for Rs 50 fine which
the father pays smilingly.
The train moves again. Once again the elder son gets
slapped from his year younger brother :) and once
again his father suggests him to play with the brakes.
Train stops again and guard comes to the compartment
angrily and on knowing the situation asks for Rs 50
fine again.
Once again Zeba Shahnaz looks at the guard and once
again Ismail Tara tucks her face behind ‘parda’ and
moves her face away :)
This time the father takes out a Rs 100 note and asks
the guard to keep the change in case his son pulls the
brakes again.
This makes Majid really mad. With angry face he
asks:
” Why are you letting your son play with the brakes
again and again. This is not a toy but public
property”
At this the father replies:
” Since Pakistan’s independence we have always seen
inflationary pressure on prices of everything.
Everything has increased in price many folds in the
past 40 years (1980s) except the fine for pulling
railway emergency brakes. This fine has remained
constant at Rs 50 since independence so I can happily
pay this fine as many times as i want”
At this the guard says:
” Oops how come we forgot to raise this price” :)
Fifty Fifty is indeed one of the best program ever to come out of PTV. Here is one of my all time favourites. Ismail Tara was acting as a shop-keeper hailing from NWFP and owned a shop in second-hand cloth market (called landa bazar). A lady comes to shop clothes there and Ismail Tara asks her:
” tumaara naam kiya hai baji” ???
The lady replies: ‘Julie’
and Ismail Tara says: “wooaay Jooooooolieeee”
:) :)
You’ve made my day :-).