The advent of Ramzan has reminded me of the following anecdote. Humayun (1508-1556), which we are all familiar with was son of King Babur and father of Emperor Akbar. If you want to know how Humayun looked like some 500 years ago in brisk colors then to the right of this text is an artist’s sketch.
“The” Humayun which we are going to discuss today is however nothing like above. He is son of Qureshi Saheb and father of none and he lived in our street during the period 1984-1994.
Before Humayun moved to our locality, I used to be the tallest boy in our street and had the laqab (title given by public) of Lamboo gali ka daada (i.e. The bully of the tall street).
I don’t remember how I got that laqab because those who know me can testify that I am anything but bully in real life.
In 1984, when Qureshi saheb’s family moved to our street, they also made sure to bring their son Humayun with them. 
With a lean and extra thin physique, Humayun had a height of 6′ 4″ and from a distance he looked like a walking bamboo. I on the other hand was even slimmer than him and people called me a walking stick. Walking together we looked like the number 11. I don’t have a photo of Humayun so I took my own shadow photo in a setting sun shown to the left. This is how Humayun looked like in 1980s. Having few things in common i.e. height and extra slimness, Humayun and I became good friends.
Jusy like me, he was a mad cricket fan. He was a very good fast bowler. Him and I used to open bowling for our mohalla (neighborhood) team. With the two of us from either end and with a variety of left arm (me) and right arm (him), we used to give tough time to any opposition batsman.
Besides cricket, Humayun had one more passion in life and that was an obsession to gain weight by any means. He would eat a lot of fats but to no avail. As long as I remember, his weight and width never increased.
We had an MBBS ‘Mian Bivi Bachon Samait’ (husabnd-wife-alongwith children) doctor named Dr. Masood living in our locality. Sometimes he would also come out to play cricket with us. Every now and then, Humayun used to ask his expert advice on how to gain weight. A typical conversation between the two went like this:
Humayun: “Masood bhai, kinnoo kha loon? kinnoo charbi to nahiN kaaTay ga?
(Brother Masood, Can I eat oranges? I hope it doesn’t cut into my fats)
Dr Masood: kha lo bhuee kha lo. charbi tum meiN hai kahaaN jo kattay gi?
(Go ahead and eat it. You don’t have any fats that could be cut into anyways)
At this Humayun would show his teeth and start peeling and eating another of his favorite kinnoo (a crossed variety of orange) in the street.
Some other things I remember about him include the episodes when we had to sit on a motorbike together. With pillion riding of a 6’4″ and a 6’2″ tall passengers, the motorcycle beneath us looked hilarious. From a distance it must’ve looked like two people sitting “ukRooN” (squatting) on the ground and somehow moving forward.
Humayun was also instrumental in the famous cricket incident where our team mysteriously disappeared without giving batting to the opposing team. To this day our opposing team has created lots of rumors about this particular game but let me tell you what actually happened. It was a 15-over-a-side Ramzan cricket tournament. One team used to bat before ‘namaz-e-asr’ (prayers) and second team after it. For one match we could only find 7 players. After winning the toss we elected to bat in a hope that we’ll miraculously find 4 missing players from some where. Those 4 players never showed up as nobody was willing to play empty stomach in sizzling Karachi heat. On the huge Shadab Cricket Ground in Gulberg we played full 15 overs like a test match and scored only 50-60 runs. Shadab Cricket Cricket (SCG) located in Gulberg Karachi is shown below. The building at one corner of the ground is Shadab masjid. Cricket pitch is also visible in the center of the ground.
With a taped-ball and only 7 fielders on our side, 50 runs would have been next to impossible to defend in a 15 over match. We were also playing under roza (fast) condition which made defending 50 runs look like a mountain. After molvi sahib said salam to the right hand side our whole team disappeared with from the left hand side door and went home. After the prayers the other team must’ve waited for their batting which they never got. We obviously lost the match because of walk-over given to other team but the enjoyment of ‘muffat ki’ (free) batting without having to field is still with me. Note my spellings of Urdu word ‘muft’ written deliberately as ‘muffat’ above. If instead of correctly pronoucing the word ‘muft’, you say it as ‘muffat’ then the enjoyment of getting something FREE doubles.
In 1994, Humayun family moved to North Nazimabad Karachi. I saw him for few more years here and there and whenever we played cricket together. I have lost contact with him for over 13 years now. Hopefully he is happy and prosperous wherever he is.
Photo Credits: First photo is from Wikipedia
[quote comment=”3805″]”If you see it perfectly normal to have words like “headmaster” and “airport” in urdu then what’s wrong with “ramadhan”???”[/quote]
hilu, you see, ‘school’,’headmaster’,’airport’, ‘station’ and many more such words did not exist in Urdu before the British came to India. They brought these institutions/facilites and their names with them, and the Urdu language absorbed them in most cases. But the words ‘Ramzan’, ‘namaz’, ‘zaka’t, ‘jannat’, already exist in Urdu language and are in use for about 200 years. Why force a change ? Let the language evolve at its own pace.
And, by the way, is Ramzan singular or plural? Because I have heard some friends from Karachi saying “Ramzan aa rahay hain”.
And, before I too punch out of this discussion, any suggestions for a decent Urdu substitute for ‘baitul khala’ and ‘akhraaj-e-hangaami’?
My friend hilu and all others. I have no problem with whatever you are saying. You see this Jewish guy goes to a bar, gets drunk, sees a Chinese guy and punches him in the face. Startled the Chinese guy says: What was that for?. The Jewish guy says: That was for your attack on Pearl Harbor. “But I am not Japanese. I am Chinese”. “Ah, Japanese, Chinese you guys are all the same” says our Jewish friend. The Chinese guy thinks for a moments and then asks the Jewish guy, “Whats your name?”. “Bloomberg” replies the Jewish guy. The Chinese lands a punch on his face as well. “And what was that for” protests the Jewish guy. “That was for the Iceberg that hit the Titanic. You may not be Iceberg but Iceberg, Bloomberg you Jews are all the same” announced the Chinese. So my friends Ramadhan, Ramazan, Ramzan or Ramjan. What difference does it make as long as we all understand what we are trying to say. I am punching out.
I will continue to say it Ramzan because I think it is more appropriate. I don’t have to change my language. At the same time I don’t have any problem what ever others may want to pronounce it. It is their choice.
yeh Alvipervaiz (sorry for the misspelling last time round) and MQ i see the point you two are trying to make. However as opposed to what zia al haqq did or did not do; today we have to accpet that urdu is indeed changing due to outside factors. If you see it perfectly normal to have words like “headmaster” and “airport” in urdu then what’s wrong with “ramadhan”??? It sounds rather hypocritical to argue on this basis…
…infact now it’s part of the new multilingual culture especially in U.S. and we can’t deny that and instead of being hardbones we should accpet this change. I for one, having lived in so many different places all around the world actually appreciate this fact; being multilingual is something to be proud of not looked down upon…and there shouldn’t be too much fuss about slight arabcization of language (when we didnt see anything wrong with assimilating english words). Ok, even in a hypothetical situation if we have a problem with that we cannot reverse this change because vast majority of desi youth (here in america or UK) say “ramadhan” not “ramzan” and they deem it more accurate pronunciation.
Ramadan/Ramadhan has become pretty standard in both Islamic world (perhaps only exception us from sub-continent) and west. So calling it something else only makes it confusing . Gora sahibs in UK all know it as Ramadan/Ramadhan and we already confuse them enough by celebrating two or (occasionally three) eids. Some standardization is desirable when communicating? Doesn’t anyone think? Nothing to do with arabanisation or loosing one’s soul in the process.