If, like myself, you are parents of children growing up ‘abroad,’ then we probably share a common angst if our children do not or cannot speak our native language.
Having grown up outside of Pakistan my entire life, save numerous long summers during early schooling years and then later, almost bi-annual winters during college and thereafter, I am able to converse and understand spoken Urdu. It is thanks to my parents, who spoke Urdu throughout my young formative years, and our visits to the motherland, that I am able today, to appreciate more of my rich culture because I have the ability to communicate and comprehend Urdu. My wish and hope is that my children too, are able to have this wonderful gift and opportunity. In the world we now live in, especially for our American/foreign born children, the need for them to have a strong sense of belonging and a positive self-identity in the western societies they live in, is paramount in my opinion.
As a parent of two young children, my husband & I constantly struggle with the fact that our children are not speaking Urdu. We think they understand the language in some minimal capacity, but not nearly enough to elicit proper comprehension or more far flung verbal communication. We – or rather I – think they are in reality absorbing more than we give them credit for, but the reality is that it is not a two way road (yet). I am an optimist in this regard. It really boils down to whether or not we as parents make a consistent effort to actually SPEAK to each other in Urdu, and therefore with our children.
It has been noted that even in households where parents speak Urdu, the children living abroad either stop speaking their native language soon after entering preschool, KG, etc. or never felt comfortable speaking it at all. So, if your children don’t speak Urdu either because you as a parent are not using it as the first language of communication in the household, or even if you are, and your children still either cannot or refuse to, I still feel that there is good in continuing to speak.
There are a lot of theories and much evidence that while children may not speak their native language, if they are around it and hear it being spoken, their young minds may be absorbing more than you think. Language acquisition begins from birth. Many linguistic experts agree for the most part that the years from birth to before puberty is when the brain is able to absorb the most language, as well as the proper accent and more ‘native-like’ fluency and pronounciation. This is considered the ‘critical’ or the milder term, ‘optimal’ period for first and second language acquisition.
Psycholinguists and cognitive scientists have debated this ‘critical period hypothesis’ quite enthusiastically (from: ‘Cognitive Scientists on Bilingual Education’, UPI, Steve Sailer – October 27, 2000):
MIT linguist Noam Chomsky is famous for demonstrating that children are born with an innate ability to learn words and grammar. He suggests caution on the subject but pointed out, ‘There is no dispute about the fact that pre-puberty (in fact, much earlier), children have unusual facility in acquiring new languages.’
Chomsky’s younger MIT colleague, cognitive scientist Steven Pinker, [now at Harvard] author of the bestsellers ‘The Language Instinct’ and ‘How the Mind Works, states, ‘When it comes to learning a second language, the younger the better. In a large study of Chinese immigrants who entered the U.S. at different ages, those who arrived after puberty showed the worst English language skills. Still, this finding of ‘younger is better’ extended to far younger ages. People who began to learn English at six ended up on average more proficient than those who began at seven, and so on.’ As an illustration, Pinker points to the famously thick German accent of former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger, who arrived in America at age fourteen. In contrast, his younger brother developed a standard American accent.
Pinker’s arch-rival, Terrence W. Deacon, a biological anthropologist at Boston University and author of ‘The Symbolic Species’ replies, ‘I have to agree with Steve Pinker[on this one particular issue]that learning a language early in life can be an advantage for developing language fluency and sophistication.’
I know from personal experience, that languages in which I was immersed or were spoken to during the ‘critical period’ years, are still with me, and seem to possess the ability to speak with minimal non-native accent. I lived in Thailand until age 14 and also learned French in elementary school (as well as being exposed to French in Laos-French IndoChina- during ages 5-9). Almost 2 decades later I can still converse to some coherent degree in those languages. I learned Spanish in my mid-twenties, and many (!) years later, I can barely remember 5-10 basic sentences!
Aisha PZ is the proud mother of two beautiful children and blogs at Boundless Meanderings. This post was originally published at ATP in September 2006.
[quote comment=”2338″]You are worrying about your children not learning Urdu because no one speaks it abroad. I have seen kids of upper class families in Pakistan struggling with Urdu. [/quote]
Salam alaikum.
Thats right. Most of my nieces and nephews are under 10 years old, and they can hardly speak a word in urdu(except for some swear words that they hear from their dad). They are also born and raised in Pakistan, but their parents insisted that they only be taught english words. Those kids are always watching english Cartoons. And when CN began showing cartoons in urdu, their parents were saying that CN should show cartoons in english.
I say, why in english? What about most of the kids who cannot understand english? Only the children of the “upper class” should be able to understand the cartoons?! Even on PTV nowadays celebrities tend to speak in english even if the host of the show is asking them something in urdu, knowing well that most people do not understand english. People give so much importance to english as if non-english speaker always fail in life. Like making fun of the Pakistani cricketers that they cannot speak in english properly!
One simple – but not easy to implement – rule that I have seen working is insisting that YOU will ONLY speak to your child in Urdu and answer ONLY if they try responding in Urdu. It requires a lot of self-discipline from parents, but works.
PatExpat: You are right. This is not the place to discuss ‘class system in Pakistan’. So I will try to refrain from it. I also agree with you and just like you despise the various types of ‘education systems’ prevalent in Pakistan. You forgot to mention the Madrassas though. What I will like to point out is that ‘classes’ in Pakistan realy means how much money one has in his pocket. What we have are the rich and super rich classes at one end and poor and dirt poor at the other and then every thing in between. Even though the system perpatuates itself, certain percentage of the society does fall in and out of these economic (and therefore social) calsses on regular bases. So it is not the ‘upper’ or ‘lower’ class system as one sees in say England. It is the rich and poor classes that we are talking about. Thats all. Other wise we both are on the same side of the fence.
Whether we like it or not, whether Islam allows it or not, we have classes in our country. And defining them by a politically correct term such as belonging to “higher socio-economic status” does not change the fact that we have a class based system. And the kids have rarely a chance of migrating upwards from their socio-economic class as the education they receive defines them. Government schools for lower classes, ubiquitious corner english medium schools for the middle classes and ludicrously high charging own-pick-and-drop-required parent-interviewing montessories (Mrs. Haq’s, Links etc) and KGS’s, Avicenna’s etc. where the standing of parents in society matters for the upper classes (higher socio-economic status).
But this is not the blog to discuss classes. We can continue the discussion in some other blog.
PatExpat writes:
“I have seen kids of upper class families in Pakistan struggling with Urdu.”
and Adnan Ahmad writes:
“…..belonged to a certain class or the upper class (I hate to use this term)..”
I agree with Adnan. I too hate the term “upper class”. That implies that there is a “lower class” as well. Such classification of human beings is demeaning. Perhaps the term “upper class” could be replaced by “those of higher socio-economic status” or by “those who are economicaly well of” or some thing like that. Also I think that Pakistan should have only one system of education with compulsory Urdu and English languages for every one starting from grade one. There must be a level playing field for every body. Rich and poor alike. For those who think in religious terms; Islam does not grant any one superior or inferior status except for their deeds. Think about it.